Is eating out with a BLW baby biting off more than they can chew?

Now, there’s NOTHING I love more than relaxing at home. It fills me with glee when we don’t have to venture out in the cold to a group/appointment/the shops allowing Alban and I to potter at home all day, doing nothing but sticking Franny’s Fab and Healthy Banana Cake in the oven. Just in case anyone reads this and starts to feel very nervous I should point out I always put it in the oven, not Alban! Staying on the subject of Franny’s Fab and Healthy Banana Cake – oh, how I’ve fallen in love with this simple but stunning creation. My little man adores devouring a slice of this warm, gooey delightfulness and I’m not even going to admit how many slices Mummy scoffs.

Anyway, despite my love for the indoors I was in dire need of fresh air and natural light after Alban’s week of upset so decided to experiment how BLW works outside the ‘safety and security’ of the home. This is all in the name of research for babyledweaning.com of course and absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Mummy was craving a decent coffee and toasted mozzarella, tomato and basil panini…

As I walked into town I contemplated the most appropriate place for us to go to. This, as I’m sure you all know translates to which place will be the most forgiving with all the food that’s going to be hitting the floor.
I decided on my venue – the most child-friendly café with staff that smiles patiently at you when your baby decides to scream very loudly. And yes, that does happen – often. I really hoped though that I wouldn’t be lumbered with the crappy broken highchair that every other mother avoids. And there it was waiting for us; that crappy broken highchair every other mother avoids – a great start.

I knew what I was having but as I scoured the menu looking for fresh, healthy food with hardly any salt, it dawned on me I should have packed Alban a lunchbox. I wasn’t keen on him having white bread, cake, or any of the rich, calorific sandwich fillings – I don’t remember coronation chicken or tuna mayonnaise getting the thumbs up in the BLW cook book. Incidentally, my copy of the BLW cook book is now so worn and stained you’d think I’d had it for years, not a month.

Eventually, I decided to order Alban what I was having – the mozzarella, tomato and basil panini. I had to panic order the ravenous little thing a banana and start him on that first because the panini was SO HOT – (mozzarella doesn’t half bubble up to catastrophic temperatures doesn’t it?)

Pushing food aside for a moment (excuse the pun) I’d love to know what everyone else’s dining out etiquette is and what your experiences are of eating out with your LO’s. Can you really relax and enjoy your own meal or is choking and mess at the back of your minds? Do you cringe as yet another lapful of food hits the floor and profusely apologise or are you not bothered in the slightest?

After the panini had cooled down to a safe edible level I cut it into fingers and offered it to Alban. I did have a quick Monica Geller moment and wondered whether I should have brought out a plastic mat to put on the table, but it looked clean enough and I’m sure he’ll be exposed to an awful lot worse.

As Alban scooped the panini off the table and stuffed it into his mouth I urged him to slow down . What a clever move that was – giving instructions to a 6 month old who a) can’t understand you and b) is only concerned with getting as much food as possible into his mouth. And then he started to gag. I felt a slight wave of panic wash over me and completely ignored the rule of ‘sitting on your hands for 10 seconds and doing nothing.’ I lunged forward, thumped him on his back and breathed a sigh of relief as his eyes stopped watering and the panini fell straight out of his mouth onto the table.

It was then that I noticed I was being watched. An immaculate mother, with polished nails was spoon feeding her beautifully behaved child a pureed lunch from colour co-ordinated Tupperware pots. She stared at me in total and utter disdain.

I sat back, took a deep breath and smiled proudly as Alban grabbed another handful of food knocking the majority of it all over the floor.

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I mean the last line, “First-time mothers really complicate it … This is much easier than preparing separate meals”, is a little on the bald side, and of course wasn’t the case for me with my first child *puffs out chest*, but apart from that this article from the Sydney Morning Herald is a really good one and I do like this woman’s style. (To be honest I can’t think I’ve ever met an Australian woman I haven’t liked and I lived there for a while, so perhaps I was bound to say that.)

I’d also add, though, that those starting out with baby-led weaning should also beware making BLW a complication in your life. It’s your house, your family, your child… bottom line is that you must you do what you want and what makes you and your baby happy. And there is No Rush. Really.

Baby knows best

October 29, 2011 – 3:00AM
When Nicole Bridges first declared she would try baby-led weaning with her son, Quinn, now 10 months, not everyone in the family was convinced.

”My husband was concerned he was going to choke,” says Bridges, a mother of three.

Baby-led weaning introduces babies to solid food from the age of six months via soft finger foods rather than mashes and purees.

Bridges did not have fond memories of introducing her two daughters, now 12 and seven, to solid foods via spoon-feeding.

”My first daughter wasn’t that keen,” Bridges says. ”There was a lot of fiddling and wasted purees and rice cereal. With my second, she didn’t want a bar of it and it wasn’t until she was 12 months old that she started eating solid foods.”

Bridges says if she had realised she could simply offer the children food off her plate, she would have tried it.

”All the marketing for baby foods would have us believe that they can’t [eat such food] but if they are developmentally ready, they don’t need purees at all.”

Quinn’s first ”solid” meal came a week after he turned six months – a piece of pasta he snatched from the family dinner.

”Then we tried him on some baked carrot. We weren’t sure he had swallowed it until the next day when it appeared in his nappy.”

Since then, Bridges has given her son whatever soft foods she is preparing for the rest of the family.

”Peas are great, so is grated cheese and any baked vegetables,” she says. ”He will have a go at just about everything.”

Louise Duursma from the Australian Breastfeeding Association says rather than weaning to pureed meals, baby-led weaning allows the infant to eat only what they want, helping avoid mealtime battles.

”You get these babies that refuse food and often it is not the food they are refusing but the way they are being fed,” she says.

The practice has been growing in popularity thanks to the book Baby Led Weaning, by British childhood educator Gill Rapley, who argues that self-feeding is an independent process that avoids combative meal times, encourages dexterity and exposes the baby early on to a range of colours, shapes, textures and flavours.

Choking, Duursma says, is not a danger as long as the baby sits upright, has control of what is being eaten and isn’t given inappropriate foods such as nuts or small pieces of hard fruit and vegetables.

”By six months, they can sit up and have lost the tongue thrust reflex,” she says. ”Babies can also chew without teeth. None of my children had teeth before 12 months and they could eat a piece of steak.”

While baby-led weaning is seen as a natural extension of breastfeeding, it is also feasible for formula or bottle-fed babies.

One downside, Bridges says, is the mess. ”I’ll often give him his main meal at dinner so I can just throw him in the bath,” she says. ”And I am not strict about only letting him feed himself. If we are in a rush in the morning, I will spoon-feed him yoghurt because he is dressed and I am dressed and I don’t want it going everywhere.”

The biggest advantage of baby-led weaning is that it fits in with the rest of the family.

”First-time mothers really complicate it … This is much easier than preparing separate meals,” Bridges says.

Fact file

❏ Baby-led weaning introduces babies to solid food from the age of six months via soft finger foods rather than purees.

❏ Benefits include avoiding fights at meal times, encouraging dexterity and reducing work in the kitchen.

❏ Families with a history of allergies should seek medical advice beforehand.

This story was found at: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/baby-knows-best-20111027-1mkk8.html

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So how exactly does BLW work when you have a baby with an upset stomach who’s also teething terribly? Answers on a postcard, please, or even better, below…

“How long has he had an upset tummy and what’s he been eating?” the pharmacist asked as my little man wailed loudly, dribbling profusely on my shoulder, his cheeks getting redder and redder as he gnawed away on his (already well worn) teething ring. The sound of irritated voices behind me in the queue exclaiming “Poor little mite must be hungry/tired” was so NOT helping in a stressful situation (and that’s me putting it very nicely for the sake of editorial standards!)

“His tummy’s been upset for two days,” I said to the pharmacist. “I’m doing Baby Led Weaning so lots of….”
“You’re doing what?” he interrupted me with a confused look appearing across his face.

“Baby Led Weaning,” I said.

It was still there – that oh-so-familiar bewildered look I get when I say to my boyfriend; why haven’t you fixed the tap/put the rubbish out/unblocked the sink/put that picture up/got Alban dressed/fed/changed?

“Baby Led Weaning is basically letting h im eat what we eat,” I tried to explain to the clearly perplexed pharmacist. “No purees or baby food in jars – he eats with us at mealtimes.”
The confused look turned to horror -total and utter horror. “Oh,” he said very slowly “that may have something to do with his upset stomach…”

So, it’s fair to say we’ve not had the best of weeks. It did however, start off rather well. I won’t list exactly what foods he’s had every day (as I have to stick to a word limit, although good old Aitch does tend to turn a bit of a blind eye.)

Breakfast has (or should I now write did) consisted of melon wedges, weetabix, scrambled eggs with some flaked smoked salmon. However, I had a bit of a sinking feeling after giving him the salmon as he gulped down his water akin to a dehydrated pot plant . I should also add that this was his breakfast over three days, not one – just in case you’re getting worried…

Being the world’s worst cook I decided for the sake of my darling son to become a parent that can (attempt to) cook. Also, as I’m now a responsible mother of one (I can hear you all sniggering) that has a duty of care for Alban’s future eating habits, I attempted to ‘make’ him a BLW pizza for lunch. I used multigrain seeded loaf, low salt tomato puree, grated mature cheddar and then really went for it – sprinkling tuna (in spring water, not brine) and very finely chopped red onion on top. I must admit though to trimming off the rather tough and burnt looking crusts.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of culinary delights; I am proud to announce (no, not another pregnancy) but the concoction of a new dish, imaginatively titled ‘Salmon Flaked Mash.’ Is the BLW community ready for this gourmet creation?
So, anyway I’ve digressed. We enjoyed three days of moderate success when Alban decided that he’d had enough. Now, I had been giving him plenty of fibre rich foods so was clinging onto the hope that may have been the reason for two nappy changes an hour and generous applications of Sudocrem.

I realised though this wasn’t the case when he kept crying when I put him in his highchair. After checking that he wasn’t sitting on any utensils, it was obvious that he wasn’t at all interested in any food I was putting in front of him.

It was so distressing seeing him so upset. I attempted to offer him different foods and handed them to him, rather than just leaving them on his tray, but he became more and more irate. I gave up, cuddled him and gave him his feed. It was a struggle to get him to feed though and he became extremely distressed and didn’t want to be put down at all.

As I cuddled him I ran through everything in my head I had given him over the last couple of days. I was starting to panic praying I hadn’t made him ill. Was it the tap water he’d been having before and after his food? Maybe I sprayed too much Dettol spray on the tray when cleaning it? Had I cooked everything thoroughly enough? Was is it the salmon/cheese/bread/fruit? You name it – I worried about it. It was then that I really appreciated and understood the phrase ‘worried parent.’ As I put him to bed that evening and checked his temperature I sat down and reflected whether I had made a mistake trying the BLW approach. Maybe he wasn’t enjoying it? Maybe he wasn’t ready for it? Had I given him too much or too little food? Off I went again… fretting and worrying.

After an appointment at the doctors the following morning she explained it was ‘highly likely he had picked up a little bug’ and not to worry as it would work itself out of his system naturally. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and said a silent thank you that I hadn’t harmed my son.

As I was getting ready to leave, the doctor asked me what baby food and purees I had been giving Alban. A sense of déjà vu occurred as I explained that Alban wasn’t having baby food and purees but eating real, healthy food with us at mealtimes. To that she replied: “Oh right that sounds interesting, how does that work then..?”
　 　

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Thank you so much, Siobhan, for agreeing to keep a diary of your baby led weaning experiences every week as you go along. This week, some trepidation is to be expected, you’re just getting started. And we DID tell you about the banana stains, oh yes we did...

“And so the BLW journey begins

I am excited. I am nervous. He and I haven’t got a bloody clue what will happen but I’ve been researching (well reading one book) The BLW Cookbook by Gill Rapley and of course, naturally scouring www.babyledweaning.com to find out what we should expect.

Alban – my six month old son and I are ready to start our baby led weaning journey and for the next eight weeks, dear readers I will be sharing all my experiences with you. Now as I’m a BLW virgin (does that sound sort of wrong?) as this is my first child, the next eight weeks should be a rather interesting journey….

So, this week I’ve been trying to get organised. I have purchased – in no particular order – a highchair (in case you’re really interested a white, plastic, easy wipe down one with some plastic cushioning), a couple of shower curtains to ’protect’ our carpets that you can’t really see because of so many toys/books/playmats/nappies/packets of wipes/changing mats covering them but I thought it would be easier to shake all the dropped food off them rather than hoovering all the time. Let’s face it, I hate hoovering and don’t have time anyway now I’m a mum – does that sound familiar? I’ve also bought five full length bibs with sleeves from a certain Swedish retailer that one of the lovely mums recommended on babyledweaning’s FB wall – THANKYOU. Other bits I’m filling the cupboards with are copious amounts of various assorted sizes of Tupperware as I’m planning to be organised and prepare as much food as I can (if you know me don’t you dare laugh), a Doidy open cup as I’m hoping to introduce water as part of mealtimes and of course lots of yummy, healthy FOOD.

Deciding to try BLW has made me finally decide to stop pushing a six month old around in a trolley, hoping he doesn’t wake up as I get more and more stressed buying food I think we but don’t actually need (as I keep forgetting to write a list to remind me that I need to write a list for the weekly shop!) Internet shopping you are now saving me time, money and hassle and I thank you for that.

I decided to wait until Alban turned six months old and was sitting up comfortably on his own before starting BLW. I felt a bit scared to start him before that, so I’ve only actually had one day of ‘doing BLW’.

The first morning wasn’t great. I waited a couple of hours after he had his feed but he wasn’t in a great mood, then his leg got caught as I put him in his highchair, so after he yelled for a bit and didn’t really want his bib to be put on, we were finally ready. I decided to go with banana as his first food, so cut it into finger sticks and placed it on his tray. I waited and waited and waited and he didn’t really do anything. I then got bored of waiting so skimmed through the BLW cookbook where it stated very clearly not to put any food in their mouths, so I just tapped the tray gently and that seemed to grab his attention. He lunged forward, grabbed a stick of the banana and shoved it in his mouth. His face, oh his face – it was hilarious. He pulled an expression that looked like he had just taken a bite out of the world’s most sourest lemon. I laughed my head off and then realised I should be encouraging and smiling at him, not shaking with tears in my eyes – naughty Mummy. Anyway, it couldn’t have been that bad because after half of the banana fell off into his lap, he lunged forward and grabbed another stick and sucked on that. It was a lovely, lovely feeling seeing him ‘eating’ and enjoying his banana. I wanted to shower him with cuddles and kisses but thought he did deserve to enjoy his breakfast first!

Breakfast was followed by a lunch of warm wholemeal pitta (cut into slim fingers) dipped in red pepper hummus – he ate it all, although did initially wince at the dip. We ended his first BLW day with a dinner of carrots and cheddar – again cut into those good old fingers. I should say though he didn’t actually eat the food, just sucked on it – I do hope this is normal? Oh, a little tip for this week (although I’m sure most of you know this) is put the bib on AFTER you’ve strapped your little prince/princess in. I only found this out the hard way as my highchair’s white pristine new straps are now a murky off yellow colour because of the banana stains!”

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“Rapley argues that babies crawl, walk and talk at the right time for them – why should eating be any different? BLW is basically an independent process of eating, rather than passive feeding. This also helps avoid the often combative nature of family mealtimes – frustrating on both sides.

Initially it will involve more play and exploration than actual eating. Some food will reach the mouth, some will be chewed up or sucked on and eventually, when the baby is physically ready, food will be swallowed. In common with all methods of weaning you continue with milk feeds throughout to make sure your baby’s nutritional needs are met; these gradually decrease as the baby starts to eat more.” Catherine Phipps

That’s a very, very decent description of the process, imo.

Here’s the link.

Good piece on baby-led weaning, I’d say, a reasonable and sensible of what’s in Gill Rapley’s book, matched by most of the comments, and GREAT to see Nick’s book getting a mention.

Once again, the ‘your child will not be fussy and will eat EVERYTHING’ thing (aka ‘BLW will make your child into an eating robot’) is rather over-stated, however, but it’s how it goes when newspapers persist in presenting a simple ‘new’ vs ‘old’ article, I reckon.

Do join in the discussion here on the forum.

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Gosh, well, having finally looked at Google Analytics I would like to announce;

a. We have visitors to this site from pretty much every country on the face of the earth, apart from Greenland. (What’s that about, Greenlanders, huh? )

b. Sergey Brin and Larry Page know more about me and what I get up to than my own mother. Previously I had thought this role was held by my internet foster parents Mark Zuckenberg and Justine Roberts (Facebook and Mumsnet respectively).

So what I am going to say now is… if anyone would like to translate the home page, or even ‘getting started’ into a myriad of languages, that would be HILARIOUS and I would be so grateful. Obviously you wouldn’t have to take responsibility for the entire myriad, just one each would be great. I’ll leave that with you, don’t panic, I’m not asking you to join a committee or anything, just if you happen to be fluent in Kazakh I know there’s one person out there who would be delighted…

Oh, and look here we have joined the Mumsnet Bloggers Network, which means I will hopefully get off my ass* to get my blogroll** started up.

If any of you have recommendations, I’ll stick them up. Reckon I’ll do a BLW-type one but also a Just Generally Smart People one too.

And talking of Papa Zuckenberg et al, I should tell you that our FB is https://www.facebook.com/babyledweaning, our Twitter account is @blwdotcom and I will be Right Back Atcha with a Google+ doohickey once I work out what the hell is going on there…

* Please note the Americanism now that I have gone international.
** Please also note the pathetic British snigger because blogroll sounds like bog roll.

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Will you look at this, the gender pay gap explained. AND IT’S OUR OWN FAULT.

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