A well meaning mother

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A well meaning mother

Postby GHJingle » 22 Jul 2016, 15:20

My mum is amazing. We live in NZ but are currently in the uk for 8 weeks. My husband is spending time with my bedridden mil while myself and the kids stay with my parents. B is now 5.5 months and having gone with the theory that when he helps himself to my food he's ready we have started weaning. My mum is very experienced with babies having trained professionally as her nursery nurse in her youth and raised 4 kids herself. I'm the only child who has blw'd and she doesn't really understand it despite my explainations. She is being wonderful with the kids and as B is not sleeping much at night (waking me every 45 minutes to 1 hour) has sent me for much needed sleep during the day. Last week i gave in to her advice and agreed to try baby rice in the evening alongside whatever else I'm giving him in an effort to help him sleep better (although in my heart I know it doesn't really make a difference, it seemed the path of least resistance as ideally don't have the energy to fight with my mum!) this morning i learnt that she Gave him rice and mashed banana because he was hungry and she wanted me to get some sleep. I'm upset by this and don't know how to best approach it. We're a very non confrontational family and I'm in their house at their expense. My brain is sleep deprived mush and I can't seem to put my thoughts together coherently enough to explain why I don't want him to be spoonfed. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
A (May 2012), B (Feb 2016)
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Re: A well meaning mother

Postby ches » 22 Jul 2016, 17:09

I would explain to her that weaning is a milestone that is more important to you than it was to her, and you'd rather be involved than asleep. I think she's trying to help, but doesn't realize that it's upsetting you. xox
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Re: A well meaning mother

Postby ChristmasGift » 22 Jul 2016, 20:25

Hi GHJ - haven't seen you around these parts for a while! Not been in that situation but I did struggle with my Mum making lots of comments about how The Babs needed rice. I found it hard to get my point across without my Mum getting defensive. I think she saw it as a criticism of her parenting. Anyway I'm digressing - could you approach it from the perspective of not wanting to confuse him with two different approaches?
Mama to The Babs- Aug 2012
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Re: A well meaning mother

Postby Brigitte » 23 Jul 2016, 01:33

ches wrote:I would explain to her that weaning is a milestone that is more important to you than it was to her, and you'd rather be involved than asleep. I think she's trying to help, but doesn't realize that it's upsetting you. xox


Perfect advice!
I love my kiddos! Two April girls (2011 and 2013) and a May boy (2016). I guess we have spring babies in this family.
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Re: A well meaning mother

Postby EnigmaFish » 23 Jul 2016, 14:58

Brigitte wrote:
ches wrote:I would explain to her that weaning is a milestone that is more important to you than it was to her, and you'd rather be involved than asleep. I think she's trying to help, but doesn't realize that it's upsetting you. xox


Perfect advice!


Except maybe leave out the bit about it being more important than it was for her? Just say that it's really important to you and you want to be awake. Unless she has actually told you that, you don't know, and she might take it as a criticism.
v1.0: Kleintje, born January 2012.
v2.0: Newt, born July 2014.
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Re: A well meaning mother

Postby Brigitte » 23 Jul 2016, 17:11

EnigmaFish wrote:
Brigitte wrote:
ches wrote:I would explain to her that weaning is a milestone that is more important to you than it was to her, and you'd rather be involved than asleep. I think she's trying to help, but doesn't realize that it's upsetting you. xox


Perfect advice!


Except maybe leave out the bit about it being more important than it was for her? Just say that it's really important to you and you want to be awake. Unless she has actually told you that, you don't know, and she might take it as a criticism.


Good point.
I love my kiddos! Two April girls (2011 and 2013) and a May boy (2016). I guess we have spring babies in this family.
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