Still refusing food for over 2 years now

Oh, we're done with all that vegetable-steaming and mess, our children are cutlery-wielding, spaghetti-chomping angels... at least some of the time.

Still refusing food for over 2 years now

Postby scoobie » 26 Jun 2012, 17:48

I'd like to say I'm at the end of my rope but to be honest I don't even think I'm on the rope anymore. Max is 3 years 4 months now and still we have the "I don't want/like that" and will not try anything. I feed him what I know he will eat for breakfast and lunch but I serve him what we eat at the evening meal plus a tiny bit of what I know he will eat, like fruit. He will eat just the preferred food, and when he's done with that and asks for more of it, I've told him he has to try some of the other things he just pushes his plate away and is done.

The ONLY thing that he's tried recently that he used to eat before all this is oatmeal with peaches and honey, cinnamon and coconut oil. I don't bribe or punish I'm just matter of fact with about is what we're eating and if you don't want it then you'll go to bed hungry. He won't even TRY it. I did get him to lick a mushroom yesterday and he said he liked it but then wouldn't eat it.

I try to limit snacks as we get closer to dinnertime but it doesn't help. Other things that don't help are getting him to help me cook, and making food interesting and fun. I'm so tired of waiting. I do give him supplements and he still nurses to sleep and to wake up but with my being pregnant I'm not sure how much nutrition he's getting from BF.

I don't even know what to do anymore, I feel like I've tried everything, I just needed to whine I guess. I hope that he's not going to be one of those adults who only eats grilled cheese or something like that. I do know of one person like that.
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Re: Still refusing food for over 2 years now

Postby Allium » 26 Jun 2012, 18:08

I don't have much time to post much now (trying to get talkative small girl to sleep in time for my lazy daisy class!) so sorry if this is a bit disjointed, but he sounds exactly like Twink was. Except Twink didn't eat any fruit & veg, no mixed food & nothing new. And actually it was at about the same age that Twink began to be persuadable. Like you we had tried everything. One day he just agreed to try the tiniest morsel of something. And gradually he would try things more often. Now he tries most things. Not always happily, but he does try. And the number of things he eats has expanded massively. Now, at 4 years & almost 2 months...well he ate 4 apples on Saturday, & tried some risotto. He loves broccoli, carrots and peas and chicken curry. The difference is AMAZING. I wouldn't have believed anything could change but I think he just started to understand why better, so lots of explaining that fruit and veg keep you healthy, meats help you stay strong & potatoes & pasta give you energy. It's been gradual, but I'm sure that staying as relaxed as possible (not easy, I got very stressed about it at times) and gently encouraging him to try a bit of everything on his plate helped.

So basically keep the faith! I'm sure he'll get there.
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Re: Still refusing food for over 2 years now

Postby scoobie » 27 Jun 2012, 22:40

Thanks Allie for the reply, I guess I'll just keep trying and remain calm! Good to hear someone went through this as severely as us...I keep hearing of those children who went through a phase but theirs lasted maybe a few weeks or even months but not this long.

He did eat a few grains of rice last night...trouble is he won't let me put butter on or anything so good grief! I wouldn't even eat it plain :? We got him to put some green beans in his mouth by pretending we had green fangs and he followed suit...not exactly wanting him to play with his food all the time but I just wanted him to taste it. He spit like it was not tasting good but at least he got it in his mouth for a minute right :D

I'll keep trying and if we get a breakthrough post an update and if not pop in in another year or so for a whine :)
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Re: Still refusing food for over 2 years now

Postby realsLINshady » 28 Jun 2012, 06:54

We have similar issues with DD2 who will be 4 in October. She was a BLW-pin up as a baby but since she hit 18 months, she restricted her food intake of the four major food groups of houmous, rice cakes, sausages and fresh air.

Its been a long and painful haul from there but, over the time, I can see progress. She will "try" pretty much most things now - but "try" means barely touching it to her lips. But that IS progress. And once or twice she licks her lips and goes back for more. She now eats ham and macaroni cheese and other things that she would touch before.

Like Allie, its linked to the fact that we can talk with her about why she needs to eat different foods and the health benefits of greenery. We give lavish praise for the trying of things rather than the eating of things.

It'll happen - but, yes, he may end up being one of those people for whom food is merely fuel and who really aren't bothered about it any further than that.
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Re: Still refusing food for over 2 years now

Postby CherryPop » 28 Jun 2012, 07:06

My DS is just a month younger than yours, and the same. Except we long ago gave up trying to eat the same varied meals as us, because we know he won't and will go hungry rather than try. I know this, because nursery only offer one meal, it's always lovely and varied, and he never, ever eats anything there any more.

At home, he has about 4/5 meals he will eat (all of them containing some type of crap), and we'll put a small spoonful of whatever we're having on the plate. It never gets touched.

He does surprise us though, occasionally. He's recently added tomato soup to his repertoire - I don't know where this has come from and it's not something that DH or I are keen on, so we don't have it. But he asked for it, so we made some, and he ate it. He now asks for it about 3 times a week!

Even meals that are his most preferred meals - stuff like chicken nuggets and chips - will go uneaten from time to time.

He ate some carrot a month or so ago, but hasn't touched it since.

This has gone on since he was 1. We periodically have times of panicking about it, stressing, trying to get him to eat more, reward charts for trying things etc. It just stresses us out and gets us more upset, and NEVER leads to him eating more. So we try to stay relaxed and realise that some kids are picky eaters, and he will improve as he gets older. I was the fussiest of fussy kids (apparently I went over a year eating nothing but burgers, bread and honey, and icecream), stayed that way all through my teens, but as an adult I eat a very varied diet, I'm very happy to try things and will even <gasp> mix my food!

I know it's hard, but I'd relax if I were you, and let it come in its own time. Good luck!
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Re: Still refusing food for over 2 years now

Postby skip » 28 Jun 2012, 07:45

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! :) In fact I posted a thread like this not long ago.

M was/is exactly like this, although in the last few months he has become much more receptive to trying things. Well, as in, the length of the dramatic tantrum at the mere mention of "why don't you try xyz?" is getting shorter and shorter, and he'll usually try what we've asked him to and declare it "delicious!" (and then refuse to eat any more, sigh...) I'm banking on it getting easier in time. Sometimes he'll do the "I don't liiiiiike thaaaaaat!" as soon as dinner is placed on the table, but once I've explained what it is he'll give it a go. I think most 3-4 yr olds are generally wary of anything that's in a sauce or mixed together, so I give him the composite parts of dinner so he can see what it is and easily pick out what he likes/dislikes.

My theory is that his grounding in BLW and a wide variety of tastes and flavours should mean that when he gets past this stage (and puree kids go through it too, so I'm convinced it's an age thing) he'll go back to eating a good range eventually...
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Re: Still refusing food for over 2 years now

Postby wacky12 » 28 Jun 2012, 09:48

Mine has gone back + forth with eating well and then getting fussy. he's 3.5 and just starting to eat more things now, isn't quite back to where he was at 14 months, but I think he will get there eventually. He ate tons of pasta with tomato + mushroom sauce 2 days ago but only 6 bites of last night's chicken, rice and asparagus. 2 months ago, it would have been the other way round, except i'd have to give him plain pasta for him to eat anything.

I come on here to moan and occasionally celebrate that he's tried something - but as he eats anything they offer at nursery I suspect at home it's a control thing, so have been trying to give him some control over how much of each he gets by letting him help me put the food on his plate.

I'm sure yours will get there too one day!
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Re: Still refusing food for over 2 years now

Postby ceem » 29 Jun 2012, 19:32

HI everyone (sorry cna trmember everyones user names, im new here lol!)

I was just about to post a very similar thread, im sitting here in so much relief that its not only us that have an extremely fussy toddler! It is so incrediably hard to deal with and im torn between bribing her to eat and letting her get on with it.

DD was puree weaned at 6m (ddint know about BLW then) and was a great eater, literally ate everytihing until about age 1. then she got mroeand more fussy until eventually it was just plain rice, garlic bread, plain noodles (but not anymore) natural yougurt, toast, cheese, tortialla wraps, thats everything she eats now....

We just cook what ever we are having and give her a bit of ours on the side to try aswell as what she likes. for example tonight we had chicken and asparagus pie, mash and veg. we gave her a bit of mash and veg to try along with garlic bread and yogurt which she ate no problem. she licked some carrot and mash woohoo! i know it sounds stupid but thats such good going! a few months ago she would cry if anything that wasnt in the above food list was near her but jow we have progressed to licking. hopefully eating will come soon

its soo hard as i feel like shes missing out and am sick of cooking seperate food, also its so hard when we want to go out for dinner and we cant as nowhere realyl does plain bolied rice and dont want her to sit there and starve lol!

so thats us really....

going to stat BLWing DS in a few months, hopefully when we can say look DS is eating pasta etc she might try some?!

Hiya! Im a SAHM with DD 2009 , DS1 2012..... 3 little ones both loved and lost peacefully at home and our miracle rainbow DS2 2015.......we practice what comes naturally and we are loving it!
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Refusing food for over 2 years now...but making progress

Postby scoobie » 02 Aug 2012, 04:35

Tonight Max really wanted a popsicle. I told him that if he ate some of his dinner I'd make him one. (We have a Zoku quick pop maker that I love!) We were having sausages, spaetzle and sauerkraut. I knew I'd be pushing my luck if I tried to get him to eat sausage so I focused on the others. He tried to get away with just licking it as we've settled on in the past but I told him he had to eat it. One spaetzle noodle in the mouth and right back out and he tried to get his popsicle then. Stuck to my guns and he ate it, then went for a piece of sauerkraut. He pulled a face at that but ate it, said he liked it but didn't want any more. So I triumphantly handed over the popsicle. YAY! At least he tried it!

He's eaten some raw carrot and half a pinto bean in the last month or so, at least we are making tiny progress. Even though I am using other food as bribes, but oh well.
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Re: Still refusing food for over 2 years now

Postby madcatmummy » 02 Aug 2012, 07:15

Yay for the baby steps everyones fussy toddlers are taking with their eating! A few months ago AD was the same. Since JT started weaning her eating has improved. She will now eat crunchy (raw) carrot, broccoli and baby sweetcorn. She will eat lasagne and pizza and garlic bread no problem. Sausages are fine too. I was amazed when she ate risotto. The thing I find amazing is that JT will eat as much as she does, sometimes more! I don't want him to turn into a fussy toddler! I'm realistically hoping for a less fussy toddler! ;)
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