Sentences you never expect to hear

Whatever you like, really, knock yourself out... I'm not the boss of you.

Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby bimbambalooms » 24 Jan 2010, 19:41

Tammy's status on Facebook reminded me that I keep meaning to start this thread after overhearing DP saying to Snufflebum

"Stop throwing that onion at my head, it is plastic but it hurts"


I was PMSL for ages ... still makes me giggle.

What are your favourites?
Mummy to
Snufflebum, a gorgeous FIVE year old!
Snugglechops, has just turned TWO!
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby blossom » 24 Jan 2010, 19:58

M (after climbing over a PJ-clad DH this morning): "What was that I t ouched?"
DH: "nothing"
M: "what was it? I want to touch it again"
DH: "It was my willy and you can't touch it again."
M: "But I want to, I want to touch your willy."

Poor DH was so embarrassed he virtually needed counselling afterwards!
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby TPM » 24 Jan 2010, 20:03

blossom wrote:M (after climbing over a PJ-clad DH this morning): "What was that I t ouched?"
DH: "nothing"
M: "what was it? I want to touch it again"
DH: "It was my willy and you can't touch it again."
M: "But I want to, I want to touch your willy."

Poor DH was so embarrassed he virtually needed counselling afterwards!


LMAO :D :D :D Thank you blossom!! :D :D :D
DD1 05/08, DD2 01/10 & DD3 04/12
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby Morlyte » 24 Jan 2010, 20:07

Oh they are both hilarious!

I cant think of any at the moment, but I know we must have loads.
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby samsmumlou » 24 Jan 2010, 20:18

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.... :D :D :D :D :D

Provided much needed laugh - thank you!! Can't wait til Sam starts uttering such wonders :D
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby AB&M » 24 Jan 2010, 20:38

:D :D :D Very funny!

Will have to remember Bruno's for tomorrow!
Spammer executioner & heads together basher

Claire

Bruno 6
Annie aka kitten 1
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby weasley » 24 Jan 2010, 20:39

blossom wrote:M (after climbing over a PJ-clad DH this morning): "What was that I t ouched?"
DH: "nothing"
M: "what was it? I want to touch it again"
DH: "It was my willy and you can't touch it again."
M: "But I want to, I want to touch your willy."


:D :D PMSL

"Harry, will you stop sweeping the cat, she trying to eat her dinner."

Harry: (holding my bra in his hands) bra?
Me: yes, bra.
Harry: Daddy's?
Mammy to Scoot(4.7.08) and Toot(4.11.10) and Ducks(26.08.13)
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby Rahgamuffin » 24 Jan 2010, 21:20

I love these :o)

Benji is half talking, half signing at the moment which is hilarious - he can be signing one thing and saying another! This is one of my favourite 'things I never thought I'd hear' though:

Benji: 'Muuuuhma digger (a JCB type toy) biffffed (bashed into) (sign teddy bear) milkeee?'
Me 'You want milky?'
Benji 'No, Digger milkee'
Me 'Digger doesn't make milk'
Benji 'Digger neeeeeeeeed milkeeee'
Me 'Mummy doesn't give digger milky'
Benji (mournful voice) 'No? poor poor digger'
Mum to B (05/08), J (02/11) & L (01/14)
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby PerpetualMadness » 24 Jan 2010, 21:21

Blossom - PMSL. We had a similar exchange when I was having a bath with him. He was sitting between my legs and pointed at my pubic hair:

P: 'What's that?'
Me: 'That's my pubic hair. You'll get some when you're bigger.'
P: 'I see what's in there?'
Me: 'Mummy's vulva and urethra are in there but you don't need to see.'
P: 'I do. I do need to see.'
Me: 'No you don't.'
P: 'Oh. I wash the hair?'
Pumpkin's Mama xx

Pumpkin is 7, Butternut is 3. :-)
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby kin_paniscus » 24 Jan 2010, 22:45

such classics :)

felix isn't at sentences, and about 2 1/2 years of xylia crazy sayings are trying to fight there way to the front... one or two will make it to the consious level of my thoughts sometime and i'll post them.

in the meantime, i'll have some good laughs :)
hannah (33), mumma to X (january '05) and F (april '08).
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby Eli » 24 Jan 2010, 22:48

I love these thankyou for reminding me that our children really are adorable and hilarious (Munchkin seems not well and they've both resisted bedtime winding each other up)

Mine is something I never expected to say
"No Mr Man, lights are not for eating, come away from the light, the bulb is not edible!"
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby Tintin » 24 Jan 2010, 22:52

Oh Blossom, that's class! :D
I read it out to DP and he visibly winced and cringed at the prospect of a similar exchange happening here in the future... :D
DD1 Stompy, home-birthed Feb 08
DD2 Squeak, home-birthed March 11
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby Svea » 24 Jan 2010, 23:24

'mama, you are fuzzy' (pointing at my pubic hair)
'papa has a sausage' (pointing at his manhood)

'baby boobs?'
'yes, those are mama's baby boobs.'
'let's see, shall we?' (as she cops a feel)
Mama to M since 02/10/07, P since 08/03/10 and O 07/06/13
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby becoming_mother » 25 Jan 2010, 04:36

Oh my. *giggling*

This is another "things I never thought I'd say" one. I've taken it verbatim from an instant message I sent a dear close friend the night it happened, because I think the tone of the message probably adds to the whole situation. I was feeling a bit put-upon at the time, if also amused.

*waves* *aggrieved* My son is experimenting with "this fits in that" and "this fits on that" concepts. Which explains how, tonight, I came to protest, "Hey! There's a goat on my nipple!" Yes, Drew. Yes, the little goat toy for your barn has a circular hole on the bottom. Yes, indeed, it does. Now, I thought you were nursing?
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby worluce » 25 Jan 2010, 13:45

Daddy and Beany in the bath, discussion about boys and girls...
Daddy: Yes, Daddy has a penis, Beany has a penis, men and boys have penises... does Mammy have a penis?
Beany: No
Daddy: What do ladies have?
Beany: (thoughtful pause) Handbags!

Also liked Beany's response to his Grandad...
Grandad: Would you like to sit on the Shay Lonj?
Beany: (disdainful look and voice) It's Chaise Longue Grandad, from John Lewis!
Mother to Beany born 1st August 2007 and a complete bf advocate- we love it! http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4 ... =664788512
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