I think the childminder gave dd a Happy Meal...

Oh, we're done with all that vegetable-steaming and mess, our children are cutlery-wielding, spaghetti-chomping angels... at least some of the time.

I think the childminder gave dd a Happy Meal...

Postby EmilyinFrance » 22 Oct 2007, 18:40

Argh, I have a bad feeling about this.

I called in to pick dd up this afternoon (she's only been going there a couple of weeks, has settled in brilliantly). Childminder was a bit surprised to see me as normally I pick her up at school as we both have older children there, but I needed to fetch her today because of the car seat - long dull story.

So she wasn't really expecting me. Dd was sitting back on the sofa very grandly, with CM and her friend waiting on her hand and foot, and CM was spooning yogurt daintily into dd's mouth. I have explained blw to her at great length and she has professed to 'get it' completely. Ho hum.

That didn't bother me so much - but there was a Happy Meal box on top of the bin. And when I later consulted the book where CM writes up dd's day, I saw that they'd been into our nearest city before lunch. She has listed dd's lunch as 'potatoes, eggs, cheese and yogurt' - is this an egg mcmuffin-type-thing and fries???? :? Or am I being paranoid?

Obviously I should have said something then and there but I didn't, mainly because I had no idea they'd been to a place with such an establishment during the course of the day. Would you say anything tomorrow? I *hate* McDonald's and have never taken the children there, though the boys have been with ILs and are most taken with the place. But dd is only 15 months and I would no way let ILs take her there let alone anyone else.

Or should I just assume the box was still lurking from the weekend? I guess I have to ask, don't I? :scream
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Postby AB&M » 22 Oct 2007, 18:44

Ask and set rules for the future depending on what you want. In my opinion, it would be never never never!! If I want to give Bruno a chip then I'd jolly well give him a better one than from there, but that's just me - I read Fast Food Nation and was put off for life!

I am a bit of a hypocrite though as I like KFC :oops:
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Postby fibernie » 22 Oct 2007, 18:47

I think you do :? It's a bit of a vague description isn't it, that's what would seem odd to me. If she'd written, 'baked potatoes with omelette' then maybe I wouldn't think it was strange.
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Postby EmilyinFrance » 22 Oct 2007, 18:59

Thank you, brunoandmum and fibernie. You're right, I know I have to be firm and make some more rules. I'd rather go back to fitting work into nights & early mornings and being knackered all the time than spend the day thinking that there's a possibility my baby's being given that crap :(

I read Fast Food Nation too, and haven't been there since. Actually I have once but it was an emergency and I didn't eat anything... Can't do KFC either but I used to love a BK beanburger.

At the opposite extreme, I'm letting the boys come home for lunch tomorrow as the school canteen is serving cow's tongue. Bleugh. Apparently it happens from time to time - that's France for you.
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Postby bella » 22 Oct 2007, 19:27

Emily - grr, that's not good. But you have a good reason to bring it up since you saw her spoonfeeding yoghurt, so you could use that as an excuse to bring up the whole blw concept and go over that again to make sure they're clear and then ask about the McD's. Or even say, "what kind of potatos and egg was it then?" as though you're wondering if they were also spoonfed (that's what I would do because I always look for the cowardly way out... god knows how I'll cope when I finally have to put Teengy in daycare and I need to stand up for myself a bit more).
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Postby EmilyinFrance » 22 Oct 2007, 19:56

Me too, I am shockingly bad at confrontations. So I probably will take the 'what kind of eggs and potatoes' route - thanks for that!

Argggh right now I just want to look after her myself. At least that way I know what she's eating and I know that she's the one picking up the sodding spoon.

How old is Teengy? I have no problems standing up to teachers at school/ preschool for some reason, but hate it when I have to confront childminder type people. Still, tomorrow we will definitely be having a BLW refresher session.... :wink:
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Postby Marie77 » 22 Oct 2007, 21:09

Emily, she is not having your DD out of mercy with you, you pay her aren't you? So you can expect her to feed YOUR child the way YOU want it.

I have to admit I am very bad for getting cross and stroppy quickly with parents and ILs if they don't give the boys what I think they should have, but then they are family. If I throw my hard earned cash (or DHs) at someone to look after my children though, I would go in there with guns blazing - god I would be the world's worst diplomat :oops:

Seriously, ask her directly why she spoon fed her and just stress again how important it is that she eats herself. Tell her you saw the McDonalds box and are worried she fed her that as it should only be a treat from grandparents and your other kids have to obey to that as well so you cannot have different rules for DD.

God, do I sound like a dragon or what? :D In case you wonder, I do have a collection of bitten-off heads ....
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Postby AB&M » 22 Oct 2007, 21:27

Marie, will you come to nursery parents evening with me please :wink:
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Postby Aitch » 22 Oct 2007, 23:29

fortunately i have a brain the size of a pea so any information i gleaned from Fast Food Nation has long since gone. same for No Logo, although i do remember being Very Cross about it at the time. No, the reason i don't like McD's, BK, KFC etc is because the smell of hot chip oil makes me want to hurl, so poor dd hasn't tasted any of them yet. so far as i'm aware - obviously grandma is a rogue element but she's not a fan of fast food either so we're probably alright.

thing is, Em, if you don't liek the idea, you don't like it and you have every right to tell her. obviously i'd ask for more detail on the egg, meat etc front, but you could also ask where she ate and how she feels about fast food. how many other children does she look after, it may have belonged to someone else... hmmm. unlikely, but possible.

personally i'm more offended by the British idea of that kind of food as 'a kiddie treat' than i am the actual food itself, iykwim? and that's less likely to be an issue for a child growing up in la belle tongue-happy france, n'est-ce pas? but it would be worth having a chat about the spoon-feeding again... i bet she thinks you're an English freak. have you thought about renaming BLW 'la methode anglaise' or something, just to underline that you are serious about your wacky ways?

i can't help but feel i'm not being helpful, Miss Emily. it would be easier if i didn't know Madame's name... <sniggers>
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Postby EmilyinFrance » 23 Oct 2007, 08:31

Oh Marie I wish you lived round here! I could do with someone scary as back up :wink:
I think we're ok on the 'happy meal' (and what a grim marketing term that is) - she says it was one of her children's from Sunday, and gave a detailed description of fried eggs, pureed potatoes and grated carrot. So in fact I was hysterical and paranoid for no reason at all.
:oops:
I blame it on a frustrating day's work, or lack thereof.

Plus, as DH said, she'd probably have asked me for the money. And as DS1 pointed out 'if she'd had a happy meal, she'd have got a toy'.

HOWEVER I did discover in the course of the morning's Serious Chat, that CM has been completely and utterly ignoring the blw thing and feeding dd everything off a spoon. 'She just sits there with her mouth open' apparently - well, that'll be because she's being lazy and she knows you'll deliver. So she now thinks I am *insane* but promises to give blw another go. I'm not entirely sure I believe her :(

So, more spot checks required! On the one hand, I don't believe spoon feeding is entirely the devil's work, but on the other - I *do* pay her, I *have* asked her *several times* to do it my way and I am a leeeetle bit pissed off about this.

And yes, Aitch, all of this is carried out against a background of internal sniggering, on my part, about her name. I discovered from the paperwork that she was born with a perfectly normal surname, and if I were her I would really have stuck with that when I married Monsieur Condom. :D
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Postby TinkerbellesMum » 23 Oct 2007, 08:43

If you want to give a spoon under certain circumstances, that is your business, but if you tell her not to do it then she should not do it, you are her employer and if you did similar at work you would be in trouble. We really need to see those who care for our children as our employees and not as someone who tells us what to do - want your wages???

I agree that spoons aren't total no no's, but you have to do it understanding your child and to ask someone else to do it *sometimes* is confusing for them.

Like the name lol, my sister married a Mr Bates and there was debate over whether she would become Mrs Bates or double barrel her name to save their poor sons becoming Master Bateses lol.
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Postby EmilyinFrance » 23 Oct 2007, 09:19

You're completely right, Tinkerbellesmum - I did make my position on it all clear this morning. And have now decided that I will ask how she was fed, every single time that I collect her, to ram the point home.

But yes, why-oh-why do I feel bad setting rules? I have no idea and am annoying myself no end with this. Like you say, in any other sort of work setting it wouldn't happen. The only time dd eats off a spoon is if I'm loading one up to hand to her, and she lunges at it. Which is a completely different thing from sitting there like a baby bird waiting for her worm, don't you think?

And Aitch, yes, absolutely, that sort of crap food as a 'treat' is just revolting on so many levels. :? And the smell of the chip oil too, double-bleugh. I do hope they don't get so much of that out here but am not completely convinced... I should probably be leaving the boys at school to eat their tongue today but ever since DS1 discovered the Famous Five having cold tongue for breakfast in a book recently, the very notion has occupied its very own pedestal of yuckness round here. So I'm letting them off.
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