Hoarding/ not sharing food - wwyd?

Oh, we're done with all that vegetable-steaming and mess, our children are cutlery-wielding, spaghetti-chomping angels... at least some of the time.

Hoarding/ not sharing food - wwyd?

Postby Lioncub's mama » 18 Mar 2013, 21:34

Lioncub is going through a phase of wanting to have all the food on the table on his plate including our food as well as his! So for example when he has breakfast he wants all the toast on his plate, and when you explain that he can have some, but some is also for papa and some is for mama he starts crying/ having a tantrum - which doesn't make for a nice relaxed family meal! He had little friends round for supper yesterday and it was the same with them - he was totally happy eating his meal, until he saw they also had the same food as him, and then he was desperate to get at their food too, and had a major meltdown when he wasn't allowed. He also wants all the fruit from the fruitbowl on his plate at every meal. He clearly doesn't have any intention of eating it all - he rarely finishes everything on his own plate, let alone on our plates too.

What would you do? Just tell he can only have what we give him and deal with the fallout? (DP wants to reason with him and explain about being fair and letting everyone have a share of the food, but i think that fairness is a bit too abstract a concept for a nearly 19 month old to really get...)
Lioncub (P) - August 2011
Baby brother (E) - December 2013
Lioncub's mama
 
Posts: 694
Joined: 23 Nov 2012, 09:41
Location: London

Re: Hoarding/ not sharing food - wwyd?

Postby StJuniper » 18 Mar 2013, 23:07

If this was me I'd just give him his portion, ignore the tantrum, and take a few less relaxing meals until he figured out that he wasn't going to get anything accomplished by tantrumming. What else can you do, really? As you said, fairness is an abstract concept so giving attention to his demands by trying to reason with him sounds like a good way to prolong the behavior.
Mama to two boys, the Scout Kid P, 02/26/12 and the Feral Kid R 12/15/13, and one little Tumbleweed girl, 05/27/16.
StJuniper
 
Posts: 4130
Joined: 06 Aug 2012, 20:40
Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Hoarding/ not sharing food - wwyd?

Postby Keren » 19 Mar 2013, 14:13

I agree with SkytownJane. Tantrums are only going to get more illogical and more common in the next year or so (and my 4.5 year old hasn't stopped having them!), so view this as good practice :) I wouldn't go through a lengthy explanation like your DP wants to, but I would come up with some one-line explanation that's pretty general and just keep on repeating it, calmly, while he tantrums. Something like "Lioncub gets some, and Mommy gets some" or "Food is for everyone to share." Say it like a mantra every time you feel like you just have to say something to respond to his tantrum. It may take a while, but eventually, he'll learn that this is the way things are.

We used to have a similar issue with both of my kids, except in their case, they would eat one bite from their plates and then ask for more. Again. And. Again. We finally made up a little song TTO Old McDonald: "If you finish the food at your seat...yum yum yum yum yum....You'll have more food to eat...yum yum yum yum yum." Sounds like it's anti-BLW, now that I think of it, but I wasn't BLWing at the time. We still use the song every once in a while for my now-two year old. Like once every week or two he'll ask for more cereal when he still has half a bowl. We start singing the song and he smiles, sings it with us, and usually goes right on eating as if nothing had happened!
Bub 7/14/08
Boo 5/7/10
Boash 8/20/12 -- First BLW baby
Beauty 11/2/15 -- Second BLW baby, first girl!
Keren
 
Posts: 30
Joined: 09 May 2012, 14:39

Re: Hoarding/ not sharing food - wwyd?

Postby Lioncub's mama » 19 Mar 2013, 14:28

Thanks both, you are of course right, there is really nothing else we can do... And we know that he is usually pretty good at understanding and responding once he realises we really aren't going to shift on something. (I was trying to explain this to DP last night, but he wasn't convinced hence suggesting that I asked the forum for advice - now that I have you back-up he's much happier with the solution!)

It is quite funny though - how Lioncub really thinks he is going to work his way through two large plates of food plus his own food plus all the fruit in the fruit bowl in one sitting, I don't know!
Lioncub (P) - August 2011
Baby brother (E) - December 2013
Lioncub's mama
 
Posts: 694
Joined: 23 Nov 2012, 09:41
Location: London


Return to Toddler Led Eating

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users