Struggling with DDs eating

Oh, we're done with all that vegetable-steaming and mess, our children are cutlery-wielding, spaghetti-chomping angels... at least some of the time.

Struggling with DDs eating

Postby ceem » 26 Nov 2012, 22:40

Hi all, my daughter will be 3 years next month and is a very fussy eater although recent months especially since DS has started weaning has shown some improvement. Its not the fussy eating im worried about really as im used to it but its breakfast time.

She likes, rice crispies, porridge, toast and shreddies for breakfast. We give her the choice of which one she wants and then make it for her and then she just doesnt eat any of it, or she will have one spoon and say finished or say she wants something different, I dont know what to do. I know that hopefully its just a phase and will pass but what do i do in the meantime?

Part of me gets really annoyed ive spent time aing it (probably with DS whinging at thesame time) and she wont eat it so part of me wants to say right if you dont eat it we are not going out but i think that will just create even more of a fear of food

do we stop offering her the choice and just give her something?

do we still let her choose but then dont push it and if she doesnt eat just let her get down when its time which is what we are doing now, the problem with this is that then shes a whingy as obviously shes hungry.

another huge issue is "snack time" at playgrous that we go to and also, potetially, nurserry that she will start in Jan. As i said earlier, shes got a fear of food but things are slowly imrpoving. A few months ago literally all she would eat for dinner was garlic bread (had to be aldi one) or yogurt (only aldi or asda brand) or plain bolied rice so she literally had that for tea evry night. we tried every night tp put alittle bowl out of whatwever we were having and it started that she would scream in fear and shout no no when it went on the tale, then we made progress to having it near her nowl of food, then we had touching it, then licking and now finally she eats the things above for tea plua palin pasta nad plain noodles which i know is still awful but it is a huge huge breakthrough and makes like so much easier. anyway, abcnk to snakc, basically shes also very fearful of other children and especially eating aroundother children, again this has got better as when we got to playgroups when snack was annunced she would screma in terror and shout mummy i want to go home, then it got a bit better and she would have a drink but no food anywhere near her and now she is ok with sitting on my knee with me whispering that everythings going to be okay while she has a drink and if tehy give her food she no longer cried but wil say no i dont want it and leave it which is good. but she will bea t nursery soon without me and i dont knoww aht to do. its going to be hard enough for her anyway being around otehr children without me and snack and meals times will mkae it even harder, it will completely overwhelm her and cloud her view of nursery. part of me wants to pick her up beofre snack time forthe first few weeks, am i being stupid? or sit with her for snack but ive also got DS to look after aswell

any advice? sorry for the essay! im just really nervous, shes done so well and come so far and i dont want nursery to ruin that

ps, DS is BLW'd ad so far is the opposite to his sister thankfully, i cant believe how easy it is having a child who (so far) eats everything, makes me realise how hard it is with DD
Hiya! Im a SAHM with DD 2009 , DS1 2012..... 3 little ones both loved and lost peacefully at home and our miracle rainbow DS2 2015.......we practice what comes naturally and we are loving it!
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Re: Struggling with DDs eating

Postby Riotproof » 26 Nov 2012, 22:42

Give her a tiny portion of it. That way if she doesn't eat it, there's little waste.
Cherub - Feb 2010.
Little miss - Jan 2015
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Re: Struggling with DDs eating

Postby ceem » 27 Nov 2012, 07:47

Thanks RP thats what we do already, its just so hard to not stress about the amount shes (not) eating!

Also i really dont know what to do about the whole nursery/eating with other children situation. I thought last night maybe I could pack her own nsack and lunch they could give her alongside what the other children are having to take some of the fear away but what if they say no due to other childrens allergies etc?

x
Hiya! Im a SAHM with DD 2009 , DS1 2012..... 3 little ones both loved and lost peacefully at home and our miracle rainbow DS2 2015.......we practice what comes naturally and we are loving it!
ceem
 
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Re: Struggling with DDs eating

Postby Twinkly » 27 Nov 2012, 09:16

I have no experience with non- eating toddlers but I was a super fussy eater when I was a kid. The look of certain foods or smell would make me wretch and no matter what my parents did or said made no difference. If I didn't want eat it, I wouldn't ( it was more like I couldn't though).
They took me to the doctor and he asked if I was happy, running around and had plenty of energy - they said yes - he said don't worry. I only ever ate very plain foods. No sauces hardly any veg other than raw carrots and mushrooms (every dinner there was a small bowl of carrots and mushrooms for me).
No advice - but just thought I'd share the story.
ETA - maybe just find what she will eat, by trial and error, and just give her that for now (unless of course it's just chocolate and cake!). Maybe select things from certain food groups so she does get a balanced diet. Eg. does she eat roast chicken? If so, then for now perhaps give her that for most dinners - at least you know she's getting the protein. And also in another bowl give her a little of what you're having in case she fancies trying it. I suppose it may defeat the point of BLW in terms of 'give them what you have' but then again it does follow the 'baby-led' side of it.
Mum to V June 2011 & M Jan 2013
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Re: Struggling with DDs eating

Postby sparkling » 27 Nov 2012, 09:58

I've no experience of a fear of food, but Jiglet is not a big fan of breakfast. I let her choose, but if she changes her mind once it's made I don't make more, and if she doesn't choose then I do. Some days she won't eat any, particularly nursery days when we're up earlier. I gently encourage her to have a but, reminding her that it will be a while until snack time, but if she really isn't interested I assume she's not hungry and leave it. To be honest I'm not a huge fan of breakfast.

As for eating at nursery, I'd talk to them about it. They may have had children with similar issues before and have some suggestions. I think that maybe sending in her own snacks might be a good thing to start with at least. Everywhere will be different but I suspect you should be ok. We are not allowed any nuts as there is a child with a severe nut allergy, but no other restrictions.

Hope she continues to improve, sounds like very hard work!
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Re: Struggling with DDs eating

Postby ceem » 28 Nov 2012, 07:33

thanks for all your replies

things are slowly getting better i think but its stilll hard.....tonight SHE ATE PIZZA FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH NO BRIBING! WOOHOO! once a week or so we get one of those asda create your own pizzas for me and OH to share and for a few months now shes been enjoying choosing one of her own (basically a choice between ham and cheese or just cheese) prior to this she would just have garlic bread. so basically for a few months now whenever we have pizza she has one oaswell with garlic bread aswel and normally she only eats the garlic bread and maybe if we are lucky she will lick the pizza, well tonight she ate it! no idea whay, i actually did a double take (and then cried with joy!)

I think with breakfast time im going to give her it but dont push it, then we are both more relaxed. she has a cereal bar in the buggy on the way home from groups most days around midday before lunch at around one to keep her going so im sure shes not starving!

still dont know what to do about nursery!
Hiya! Im a SAHM with DD 2009 , DS1 2012..... 3 little ones both loved and lost peacefully at home and our miracle rainbow DS2 2015.......we practice what comes naturally and we are loving it!
ceem
 
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Re: Struggling with DDs eating

Postby KateGladTidings » 28 Nov 2012, 09:09

(((((()))))) For the stress and :) that she's learnt to appreciate pizza!

She may surprise you with what she'll eat at nursery. Roo eats lots of things there he wouldn't touch at home - I think it's the peer pressure. I would be tempted to just see how it goes
Mother to R, June 2009, and E, May 2012

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Re: Struggling with DDs eating

Postby BigFlower » 29 Nov 2012, 09:40

No advice but lots of (((()))).

It sounds really hard.
DD - Feb 2010
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Re: Struggling with DDs eating

Postby ceem » 29 Nov 2012, 14:19

Thanks for all your replies (and on my other thread aswell)

I got a tip off here that said when DD says shes finished breakfast, to just say ok thats fine and just leave it there in case she wants some more a few mins later. so ive done this for the past couple of days and its been so much more relaxed, and she ate more actually!

Also done a similar thing at lunch just letting her get on with it (or not) and its been a much more relaxed experience for us all.

also for nursery i was thinking that actually when she goes morning (once a week) she will have breakfast at home so thats fine and then for lunch although they wil offer it her there it doenst matter if she doesnt eat it and goes hungry as ill be picking her up at 1pm and she can have lunch at home. then when she goes afternoons (twice a week) she will have already have luch at home and then she will get a snack at around 4.30 which again it doesnt matter if she deosnt eat as ill be picking her up at 6pm and taking her home for tea. so its fine really just as long as she doesnt get overwhelmed but i think ill just have to take it one daya t a time.

also, having DS who is BLWing (and loving it) makes me realise how hard DDs eating is but also im so thankful i found BLW for DS, so easy! (and makes so much more sense)

Just need to be a bit more baby led in my approach to DD now.....xxx
Hiya! Im a SAHM with DD 2009 , DS1 2012..... 3 little ones both loved and lost peacefully at home and our miracle rainbow DS2 2015.......we practice what comes naturally and we are loving it!
ceem
 
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