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She just won't TRY anything!!!

PostPosted: 13 Nov 2012, 18:10
by UnhappyRightFoot
I appreciate there are a few threads around this topic but it's driving me bonkers! DH had another arguement about it last night.

I've read Meals Without Tears, scoured websites and everything says the same thing:

Eat as a family - we do
Switch off the TV - we do
Make meal times happy - we do (except when things come to a head)
Offer a small variety - we do
Be positive about what we are eating - we do

Don't offer something different if she won't eat it - we don't. She just gets fruit and yoghurt
Don't bribe - we don't (unless it's something I know she likes eg, eat some of the bits off your pizza toast before more toast - which she
does)
Don't reward a pudding for eating a second course - we don't
She doesn't snack

We've changed plates, cutlery, she now sits on a chair rather than her high chair, we put just a little on her plate so she's not overwhelmed. Just about everything we can think of. But she just squirms, whinges, puts her head in her hands, announces that she doesn't like it and maybe just maybe she'll move it around her plate.

So, this not trying "phase" has gone on pretty much for a year and a half now. In that time, the only additional thing she will eat is tomato soup, which she finally tried a couple of weeks ago.

Giving her something we know she likes with a meal is really hard as she eats:

Spag bol
Beans on toast
Eggy Toast
Tomato Soup
Pizza toast
Tuna sandwiches
Bread
Wraps
Tomatos
Cucumber
Ketchup
Cereals
Fruit
Yoghurt
Croissants
Very occasionally chips

And that's it!

DH thinks we should be tougher on her and "make" her eat what's in front of her (it's down to discipline and how he was brought up) whereas everything I read says don't do this. Plus she is more than capable of eating nothing for a meal so I don't think it's an arguement he can win.

I'm really trying to stay with the "it won't last forever" mantra but really. JUST TRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: She just won't TRY anything!!!

PostPosted: 13 Nov 2012, 18:45
by Morlyte
Hmm well when we went through this phase he didn't get an option. If he said he didn't like it without trying, he was allowed toast or weetabix at bedtime instead and that was it. I did just give pasta without sauce for a while because I didn't want arguments at the table.

Also I remember we ate a lot of brocolli! Sometimes I would give raw veg when we would have cooked but it would be what we were having and nothing made especially iyswim? The only time I gave him something different was when we had potato because I know he doesn't like it. I wouldn't make a deal of it, just gave a small portion on the plate and said this is tea, I would like you to eat it or at least try it. No discussions and after a while he just ate it!

Re: She just won't TRY anything!!!

PostPosted: 13 Nov 2012, 19:12
by sparkling
We have the same issue juddy, we've done everything 'right' but she is still extremely reluctant to try new things, or stuff she's decided she doesn't like. I suppose I do make concessions in that she will have her pasta or whatever without sauce whereas ours is usually mixed, but we certainly don't do her separate meals unless it's something like soup with I know she doesn't like.

It drives me mad if I let it, it's just stubbornness most of the time. On the occasions she will try something she'll often say something is nice, only to have the same performance next time....

So no advice, but you're not alone! I'm still clinging to the 'it's a phase' mantra!

Re: She just won't TRY anything!!!

PostPosted: 13 Nov 2012, 20:34
by Rosie_t_Riveter
One thing that helped when TheWriggler went through something similar was putting bowls on the table and letting him serve himself. He often only served himself one thing, but at least he was eating! (And anything that was left over was put in the fridge for the next meal, if it had been on his plate he would have messed about with it so it would go in the bin, I hated the waste so it helped me relax)

Oh, and he STILL does the "mmmm, yummy" when he tries something, but won't take another bite. Drives me crazy!

Re: She just won't TRY anything!!!

PostPosted: 14 Nov 2012, 07:40
by BigFlower
Dd will (sometimes) just give something a lick to 'try' it. If she wants more of one part of the meal but hasn't touched anything else then saying she must try a taste of something else first (ie give it a lick - actually eating it is a bit ambitious!). She will quite often do this and I'm hopeful it will lead to greater things. Also makes me feel that we are not just letting her 'get away with' not trying anything. Once she has licked it we say thanks for trying it and get her the extra thing she has asked for.

Do you think she might try that kind of thing?

It's so frustrating, hope it passes soon.

Re: She just won't TRY anything!!!

PostPosted: 15 Nov 2012, 19:51
by Popsie
We've just the same issues with midge. Things that have helped- eating with other people. There's just less drama when you're not there. She started liking pizza at her childminders at age 2. And soup and ham with gps from around that age. She was refusing those foods at home.
Just spent a few days with my mum and although we were all there I was amazed how she just got on and ate whatever unusual food u gave her. At home she would have done the 'I'm not hungry game or fidgeted or nibbled or talked or cried/wailed!
The other thing that helped was the praise she got for trying food. Having a decent amount in her mouth and eating it. Retrying food too. Only by the time she got older she understood but I told her how I didnt like olives, marmite or coffee when I was younger but I kept trying them. Now I like olives and marmite and I still sometimes try daddy's coffee because I might start liking it. Anyway once we found a food she had previously decided she didn't like and later realise she did, it got easier to persuade her to try food.

Re: She just won't TRY anything!!!

PostPosted: 15 Nov 2012, 20:05
by Rosie_t_Riveter
Popsie wrote:Anyway once we found a food she had previously decided she didn't like and later realise she did, it got easier to persuade her to try food.


You've just reminded me. Reading "Green Eggs and Ham" helped because when TheWriggler refused to try a food we reminded him that in GEaH he doesn't like it until he tries it. Amazingly, that logic worked on him!

Re: She just won't TRY anything!!!

PostPosted: 16 Nov 2012, 07:39
by MyNameIsMum
It's definitely a phase. All my kids have gone through it. My 2 year old is just now (cross fingers and touch wood) getting past it.

I also found letting Tiger serve her own plate helped to get her to try eat something. She is more likely to eat what is on her plate so she was able to use the tongs/spoon to put more on it. I have a huge pasta bowl that I use for all sorts of one dish meals and other serving dishes for seperate foods.

But mostly the only thing that really worked was not giving a snack to late in the day, keep serving healthy options and waiting it out.