Super fussy DH - WWYD?

Oh, we're done with all that vegetable-steaming and mess, our children are cutlery-wielding, spaghetti-chomping angels... at least some of the time.

Super fussy DH - WWYD?

Postby BigFlower » 06 Aug 2012, 12:43

Not for me, asking for a friend. Can't think of anything to suggest so thought I would ask for some forum wisdom!!

Her DH is a really fussy eater. E.g. he'll only eat one kind of meat prepared in one way. Only veg is small chopped up bits of carrot absolutely hidden in gravy (and even then he can barely bring himself to eat it). I don't think he'll eat fruit at all. Even with "treat" foods he is really fussy - e.g. he doesn't like melted chocolate, caramel, cake that isn't plain sponge or icecream that is not vanilla.

Her DD (same age as mine) is already doing the fussy toddler thing but it is being made worse by the DH's eating and my friend just does not know what to do. Her DD always sees Daddy eating different foods so it's nigh on impossible for my friend to just do the keep offering thing as she is wise to the fact that there is always something else that Daddy is having.

She's upset at the moment as she has fallen into bribing her to try things and then rewarding with pudding etc. She hates this.

When she talks to her DH he sometimes says he sees the problem and agrees to try and change (but then doesn't) or gets shirty about it.

He's an otherwise really lovely man - if only he'd eat a bit more normally!!!!!!

WWYD about this?

I was thinking of maybe eating main meal in the middle of the day when he is at work and then he eats evening meal after they are in bed but that's not very practical.

Is it possible for fussy toddlers to grow out of the fussiness "thing" even when they have one really fussy parent as an example?

Thanks for reading.
DD - Feb 2010
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Re: Super fussy DH - WWYD?

Postby VanillaPickle » 06 Aug 2012, 12:58

Honestly, first and foremost I'd demand that DH did something proactive about his fussiness and sought help.

More practically I think whilst not ideal, eating when DH is not around. Perhaps agreeing some meals each week that he will eat *sensibly* and have those as family meals.
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Re: Super fussy DH - WWYD?

Postby FestiveTidings » 06 Aug 2012, 13:08

I think DH needs to step up a bit here. Even if he has it on his plate but doesn't eat it? There are many vegetables my DH doesn't like, but they still get put on his plate. Roo doesn't even notice daddy isn't eating them.

Either that or how about your friend serves up a choice of 2 meals every night. DH's and hers and let her little one eat what she wants from each. Some children get bored by monotony. Others thrive on it.
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Re: Super fussy DH - WWYD?

Postby Gizmo » 06 Aug 2012, 13:15

Honestly, first and foremost I'd demand that DH did something proactive about his fussiness and sought help.

This.

My DH never used to like raw tomatos or onions, now because of the babies he eats both and even has said recently he enjoed them! :o It's too easy to pass our bad habits on to our kids so better to do something about it now while they are still young enough not to notice/remember/get out the habit.
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Re: Super fussy DH - WWYD?

Postby jvnt » 06 Aug 2012, 13:23

Assuming he can't/won't improve his eating or that it's a long term goal. I'd perhaps go down the road of 'daddy can't eat x' rather than daddy doesn't like it, it's sort of true and a more in-depth explanation can wait till she's older. I'd also make sure that he spoke to her about food and the benefits and yummy tastes of different foods. We often talk to The Boy about why a particular food is good and the vitamins in it and stuff, maybe that could be her DH's job then she'll be hearing a positive message from him in spite of his example and maybe it would help him to realise how important it is too.
jvnt, mother to The Boy, August '09, Baby Dragon, January '12 and HP May '14.
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Re: Super fussy DH - WWYD?

Postby Scozzie » 06 Aug 2012, 14:48

It's not a full long term solution but might be helpful: why not try serving food on platters in the middle of the table and let everyone help themselves?

Obviously your friend would need to help/serve her DD, but it means everyone gets choice and it takes the pressure off who eats what.
Mum to the Poppet, born October 2011. A person's a person, no matter how small...
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Re: Super fussy DH - WWYD?

Postby Morlyte » 06 Aug 2012, 18:27

Well DH needs to sort himself out. My dp wouldnt eat certain things before we had kids and that was fine then once we had children who ate and I was the main cook, his tastes changed and now he eats lots of things that he didn't previously.

I Just can never understand anybody who says they don't like any fruit or any vegetable. There are so many different tastes and textures that it is just a ridiculous thing to say! Personally, I would refuse to cook anything different for him, in the same way refuse to cook different meals for the children.
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Re: Super fussy DH - WWYD?

Postby ceeLIN » 06 Aug 2012, 19:14

sweetcheeks wrote:I think DH needs to step up a bit here.


While i agree with this ^^

VanillaPickle wrote:Honestly, first and foremost I'd demand that DH did something proactive about his fussiness and sought help.


I think this ^^ really. It sounds like your friend's DH has some serious food issues and i think that the longer problems like these go on the worse they become. So although that might not be very helpful with her immediate problem (OP have given much better short/medium term solutions) I honestly think that he needs some sort of counselling or probably something like CBT to enable him to work through his issues as this is very obviously not a healthy diet for him.
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Re: Super fussy DH - WWYD?

Postby BigFlower » 09 Aug 2012, 07:11

Thank you everyone for the thoughts.

WRT her DH sorting himself out it's a bit weird. He says that he isn't repulsed by food or panicky about it or anything like that, just that he'd rather eat the things that he really likes. But I'm wondering if that is actually true, if it was that then surely he would be able to try a few different things in the interests of being a good example for his girls. CBT etc seems like a good idea.

Thank you as well for the short/mid term ideas. Will pass all of this on.

Much appreciated.
DD - Feb 2010
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