Eating with families with different approaches

[Disco]

nurseymum... how DO you get them to sit and not get down from their chair 50 times?

[peasmummy]

Im fairly ok with eating with other familys but when they say 'oooh how did you get them to try x' or 'how come yours sit nicly and dont get down from their chairs 50 times per meal' but then wont give our parenting/attitude to eating any credit, thats when i want to slam my head against the table

This.

We stick to the rule that you wait until we've all finished before you get down, and once you're down the meal is over, even at breakfast.

Pudding is usually fruit/yoghurt but DD knows that you don't get it until after dinner. That's not to say she had to eat her dinner, but she has to wait for everyone else to eat their dinner before we all move on to pudding. I also tell her if she refuses to eat that it's fine but there's nothing else until the next meal, and leave it at that. She normally starts eating then as its usually an attention thing.'

We recently ate out with a friend and her little boy, same age. dD sat in her chair the whole time and patiently ate her way through the meal while the boy was running riot and being cajoled into eating between chair climbing and other craziness. I felt v proud!

[fourweewonders]

nurseymum... how DO you get them to sit and not get down from their chair 50 times?

eating out rule no 1. you sit in your chair, you do not get down unless your going to the toilet/salad bar/ice cream machine and only with an adult. we were very clear about this from them being babies really.

My philosophy(on all behaviour not just eating) is tell them what you DO want them to do, rather than what you dont want them to do - thats a bit vauge, then heap on the praise when they get it right. (must also try this method of communication with nurseydad)

If they're already used to getting up from the table then i guess it'll take a bit of footwork

[PerpetualMadness]

Im fairly ok with eating with other familys but when they say 'oooh how did you get them to try x' or 'how come yours sit nicly and dont get down from their chairs 50 times per meal' but then wont give our parenting/attitude to eating any credit, thats when i want to slam my head against the table

This. Thankfully doesn't happen often. Worse offender for stupid comments is crazy sil whose approach was to bribe her dd with chocolate to sit at the table then wonder why she wouldn't eat anything else on offer. Sigh.

[fourweewonders]

Pm my bro and sil are really bad and we eat with the either out or at my parents sometimes everyweek. they let nephew run around one second then tell him off the next for its and switch between bribery and threats (that they never go through with) ive even seen them try to force food into his mouth. they drive me bonkers