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help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 18 Apr 2012, 12:46
by messtins
We've hit the terrible twos with M in a BIG way. We had a very simple principle for dealing with tantrums with D which was that throwing a tantrum never succeeded in getting you what you wanted. He had a few paddies but quickly worked out that asking nicely works better.
M is just awful at the moment - we're having proper lying on the ground beating little fists paddies about anything and everything. He is getting several teeth all at once and nights are disturbed so I'm sure that is a factor.
One of the main issues is he has started to point-blank refuse to eat his porridge at breakfast. This is the "vehicle" for getting a portion of calcium supplemented Oatly and his vitamin supplement into him and has always been spoonfed (so shoot me against the BLW wall) which has worked perfectly well for the last 18m. He then gets some dry cereal (cheerios/malties etc) and pieces of fruit.
I don't know whether to pick this battle and say he's not having anything else or just let him have toast or another cereal ...I can get an extra dose of his calcium supplement and the vitamins in by syringing them into his mouth, but it feels like I am giving in to the tantrum. I'm pretty stubborn and I know this has meant I've made bad decisions rather than give in gracefully in the past - but then so is he!
What would you do?

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 18 Apr 2012, 12:59
by Allium
I think it would depend on how important it was to get that calcium and vitamin in him, and how likely it would be for him to take it from a syringe. I would probably try to avoid having a battle about food (which is probably how he would see it!) and so let it go...particularly remembering that every child is different, and what works with one, won't work with another! As long as he takes the supplements from a syringe, that's fine, and you're not left having to insist he finishes this bowl of porridge when other mealtimes he's allowed to decide when to stop.

Also, is it just that he refuses it point blank or that he doesn't want to be spoonfed it? I just ask because Squish has been in a very independent phase for a while...no matter what it is, she wants to do it on her "OWN"!!

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 18 Apr 2012, 13:23
by messtins
He has to have the calcium + vitamins - he's on a restricted diet due to intolerances. He's never been any bother to syringe medicines into so that's ok at the moment, but then he's never objected to spoon fed porridge either so who knows what the next strop may be about?

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 18 Apr 2012, 14:13
by Turtle'sMammy
I'd choose the syringe battle over the porridge one. Just because (I think) it would be more short lived and be over faster. And with the porridge there's the potential to be scraping it off the ceiling....

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 18 Apr 2012, 17:19
by salj1980
I understand the need to get the goodness into him, but porridge Every. Single. Day. must be very boring if you don't have a choice about it.

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 18 Apr 2012, 17:25
by Seriously_Nutty
Give him a choice; either porridge or syringe.....

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 18 Apr 2012, 19:53
by busmother
No help on the battle front but just to reassure that mine have porridge just about every single day and they appear to love it - shovelling in two or three bowls-full. And it's SO much easier to clean up than bran flakes or weetabix when they do chuck it on the floor.

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 19 Apr 2012, 07:17
by messtins
I eat the same breakfast every day - I'm not very imaginative at that time in the morning! The issue is he has no dairy in his diet and one portion of Oatly is a third of his daily calcium. He won't drink it from a cup, and if he has "dry" cereal with Oatly he eats the cereal and leaves the milk, so it has to be something where it's all mixed in IYSWIM. We've used various fruit porridges, multigrain porridge etc but I agree it's probably a bit boring.
Thanks very much for your comments, ladies. I talked to DH about it and we've agreed to back off completely on this one and give him another dose of calcium and his vitamins with a syringe and let him have what he wants (within reason) for breakfast. I feel a bit anxious that we are soon going to be completely reliant on the supplement if it continues (currently gets 1/3 from Oatly, 1/3 from breastfeeding which we are winding down, 1/3 from supplement) but I guess we'll just hope it's a short lived phase. Jen x

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 19 Apr 2012, 12:36
by roseyposey
Can you try and get the oatly/vit/calcium via another vehicle? ie: custard with crumble or something? That way you wont have the syringe issue and then doesn't matter so much if he doesn't eat porridge?

Also, cheese sauce is a goodie..

I reckon if you back off the porridge completely and be completely unfazed by it he'll probably eat it again in a week or two.

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 19 Apr 2012, 12:51
by messtins
I have tried Oatly custard and Oatly rice pudding in the past - bit hit and miss whether he'll eat it but worth another try to get another portion in (lazy mummy doesn't really go in for cooked puddings...)
Cheese sauce isn't going to work .. have you ever tried non-dairy, non-soya "cheese"? Nobody in their right mind would eat it! Thanks for the suggestions though. Jen x

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 24 Apr 2012, 15:38
by carmen.arizona
My son doesn't eat dairy either. What about coconut milk and or almond milk? Ours are fortified and I just hand him his sippy cup in the morning, and wait a while to make breakfast until I see most of it is gone.

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 24 Apr 2012, 15:49
by Eleanor
Can you go big on fish? Fishcakes, sardines 'melted' into pasta sauce etc? I have the calcium worry with DD (I posted a thread on Allergies which sank without trace...) as she hardly drinks any oat milk at all these days or any other substitute; I'm just crossing my fingers really. I have however relaxed a lot about letting her have the breakfast cereals and white bread that otherwise I wouldn't really go for, because at least they are calc-fortified.

Re: help me choose my battles....

PostPosted: 26 Apr 2012, 07:14
by messtins
Have tried all the milk substitutes, he won't drink any of them. The fish suggestion is a good idea - thanks - he likes tuna, salmon etc so sardines might be worth a try..
The dietician suggested the white bread thing - and I had thought we were doing the right thing with our soya-free bakery granary bread!