Dad needs help!

Hi all and thanks for all of the great input throughout the forum.
I'm the father of a 15mo boy. Due to a recent injury/escape from death I'm currently the primary caregiver. Although I've always been more hands-on than most Dads the recent changes in Jonah's schedule has brought all sorts of new challenges which I'll admit I'm having a hard time meeting at present.
Background
He's a typically independent little man, happy to play independently, run around the apartment exploring, then interact on his terms when he's ready. As of late he has become attached to me like glue, follows me like a shadow and screams (even with Mum) when given to/held by other adults. He was BF until 6 months and has since then until recently been predominantly spoon-feed pureed foods from store-bought pouches with 2-3 6oz bottles in-between and many a snack such as cereal/cherrios. In the past (up until the past few weeks, he's tried a variety of foods here and there but not consistently. The key point is that he was willing to try them) After consulting various sources, from my Mum, Mom-in-Laws, to the internet I've reached the conclusion that we might have done things a bit back to front, I'm sure you'd all agree?
So, I've pretty much stopped giving him the pureed pouches and for the past week am cooking more and offering him that food. (Pasta, brown rice, toast, cheese, various fruits, meatballs, steak, chicken strips)
He's not at all interested in most of the food that I present to him, and won't even touch it other than to throw it on the floor. I'll confess that early on I expected way too much of him, put far too much pressure on him, and even attempted to force feed him. In my defense I guess I wanted to replace the pouches with real food thinking if I didn't then he'd fade away! Currently he'll pick up a few select things up, chew them before spitting them out or throwing them on the floor.
Questions
Ok, here come the thousand questions.....
Breakfast
This is his main "meal" of the day. He loves yoghurt, cottage cheese, cereal. We sppon feed him this although he is starting to want to pick up a spoon and mimic this action feeding himself a spoonful or two. Is it ok to continue to spoon feed him one meal?
Milk
Is the 16-20oz/475-590 mls of milk per day enough to sustain his growth granted he won't be eating much else until we can make this transition? (I'm not dreaming when I say I can actually feel his ribs where I couldn't before). I know it probably is but being a first time parent, and being new to this I would love some reinforcement! Anyone got any ideas on how to make this transition smoother rather just flicking the switch from one approach to another?
Not touching food
I think he's not touching the food (a) because he's recently become very picky (used to touch a try everything from lemon to garlic) (b) I've misguidedly put pressure on him to the point of force-feeding which of course has ended in tears and no doubt added to this new hesitancy, (c) his schedule and world has been turned upside-down with Mum going to work, Dad home all day, and finally (d) developmentally he's in a stage of separation anxiety which is a whole other story (would love some input on this too!) There is a question at the end of this! Is it once again just a matter of giving him the time and space, sharing meals with him, and trying to reconstruct a healthy attitude towards feeding himself?
Highchair
He’ll sit and eat cereal/a chosen food/snack, but when presented with non-preferred food he objects with screams and kicks within minutes (there has been some pressure and forced-feeding in the past). At this point, should I let him down then offer him the food as is mentioned elsewhere on the forums free-range? Finding it hard to find a balance between presenting him with a decent opportunity to sit and play with his food(keeping him in the chair), and making it a fun and enjoyable experience (letting him down when he objects).
Variety
Is there any method to offering new foods? I heard (somewhere?) that one should offer the food up to ten times even when (especially when) a child rejects it. If I offer him chicken and pasta during one meal, when should offer this again? At the next meal? At the same meal the next day?
Baby Lead Weaning
I guess I need some affirmation that this is the right way forward for me/him/us.....what are the main advantages of BLW? I currently understand that it allows the little one to lead the way, reduces the back and forth tug of war usually associated with feeding, allows them to explore, and fosters a positive attitude towards eating. Any further experiences/observations?
NB: This is all made harder by a mother in law that insists "you are starving my grandson, mash the food up and spoon-feed him, take it easy he's just a baby, give him a dummy and a bottle", and a mother that insists "he won't starve himself, stop giving him milk, he'll eat when he's ready, when he throws food discipline him!" Also, by the fact that I'm a Dad, Mum obviously knows best, but I'm doing my best to try and get us all on a happy and healthy path towards eating well!
Appreciate any/all input. Thanks in advance!
Pangi
I'm the father of a 15mo boy. Due to a recent injury/escape from death I'm currently the primary caregiver. Although I've always been more hands-on than most Dads the recent changes in Jonah's schedule has brought all sorts of new challenges which I'll admit I'm having a hard time meeting at present.
Background
He's a typically independent little man, happy to play independently, run around the apartment exploring, then interact on his terms when he's ready. As of late he has become attached to me like glue, follows me like a shadow and screams (even with Mum) when given to/held by other adults. He was BF until 6 months and has since then until recently been predominantly spoon-feed pureed foods from store-bought pouches with 2-3 6oz bottles in-between and many a snack such as cereal/cherrios. In the past (up until the past few weeks, he's tried a variety of foods here and there but not consistently. The key point is that he was willing to try them) After consulting various sources, from my Mum, Mom-in-Laws, to the internet I've reached the conclusion that we might have done things a bit back to front, I'm sure you'd all agree?
So, I've pretty much stopped giving him the pureed pouches and for the past week am cooking more and offering him that food. (Pasta, brown rice, toast, cheese, various fruits, meatballs, steak, chicken strips)
He's not at all interested in most of the food that I present to him, and won't even touch it other than to throw it on the floor. I'll confess that early on I expected way too much of him, put far too much pressure on him, and even attempted to force feed him. In my defense I guess I wanted to replace the pouches with real food thinking if I didn't then he'd fade away! Currently he'll pick up a few select things up, chew them before spitting them out or throwing them on the floor.
Questions
Ok, here come the thousand questions.....
Breakfast
This is his main "meal" of the day. He loves yoghurt, cottage cheese, cereal. We sppon feed him this although he is starting to want to pick up a spoon and mimic this action feeding himself a spoonful or two. Is it ok to continue to spoon feed him one meal?
Milk
Is the 16-20oz/475-590 mls of milk per day enough to sustain his growth granted he won't be eating much else until we can make this transition? (I'm not dreaming when I say I can actually feel his ribs where I couldn't before). I know it probably is but being a first time parent, and being new to this I would love some reinforcement! Anyone got any ideas on how to make this transition smoother rather just flicking the switch from one approach to another?
Not touching food
I think he's not touching the food (a) because he's recently become very picky (used to touch a try everything from lemon to garlic) (b) I've misguidedly put pressure on him to the point of force-feeding which of course has ended in tears and no doubt added to this new hesitancy, (c) his schedule and world has been turned upside-down with Mum going to work, Dad home all day, and finally (d) developmentally he's in a stage of separation anxiety which is a whole other story (would love some input on this too!) There is a question at the end of this! Is it once again just a matter of giving him the time and space, sharing meals with him, and trying to reconstruct a healthy attitude towards feeding himself?
Highchair
He’ll sit and eat cereal/a chosen food/snack, but when presented with non-preferred food he objects with screams and kicks within minutes (there has been some pressure and forced-feeding in the past). At this point, should I let him down then offer him the food as is mentioned elsewhere on the forums free-range? Finding it hard to find a balance between presenting him with a decent opportunity to sit and play with his food(keeping him in the chair), and making it a fun and enjoyable experience (letting him down when he objects).
Variety
Is there any method to offering new foods? I heard (somewhere?) that one should offer the food up to ten times even when (especially when) a child rejects it. If I offer him chicken and pasta during one meal, when should offer this again? At the next meal? At the same meal the next day?
Baby Lead Weaning
I guess I need some affirmation that this is the right way forward for me/him/us.....what are the main advantages of BLW? I currently understand that it allows the little one to lead the way, reduces the back and forth tug of war usually associated with feeding, allows them to explore, and fosters a positive attitude towards eating. Any further experiences/observations?
NB: This is all made harder by a mother in law that insists "you are starving my grandson, mash the food up and spoon-feed him, take it easy he's just a baby, give him a dummy and a bottle", and a mother that insists "he won't starve himself, stop giving him milk, he'll eat when he's ready, when he throws food discipline him!" Also, by the fact that I'm a Dad, Mum obviously knows best, but I'm doing my best to try and get us all on a happy and healthy path towards eating well!
Appreciate any/all input. Thanks in advance!
Pangi