Food Bribary? Do you?

Oh, we're done with all that vegetable-steaming and mess, our children are cutlery-wielding, spaghetti-chomping angels... at least some of the time.

Re: Food Bribary? Do you?

Postby blackberrycrimble » 17 Feb 2012, 11:20

In short, like others above, we don't bribe but we do ask them to try everything on their plate before they say they don't like it. And that sometimes does mean no more x until they've tried y. That's something I didn't think I'd hear myself say: 'no more broccoli until you've tried your burger'.

It is a really tricky balance though. I used to think it was simple but it really isn't.
My peas are gone as well as my marbles.
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Re: Food Bribary? Do you?

Postby Moommy » 17 Feb 2012, 12:23

I do not bribe at all, but interestingly H ( 2.5 yrs) on being refused fruit ( his fav food at the moment :) ) after requesting after one mouthful of dinner has suggested that he can have the fruit if eats all his dinner ( I think Husband would agree if I was not there as it annoys him when H refuses food but i jump in and say that there is no fruit no matter how much dinner you eat) Now H is a clever boy but really doubt that this is a self realisation. Nursery and his grandparents deny such bribary but I am sure someone is telling fibs.

As a general rule, unless it is something we know he really doesnt like very very spicey or something that is an aquired taste and he has tried it, we tell him that is his dinner and it is up to him if he eats his it but there is nothing else if he doesn't. He has to wait at the table until mummy and daddy have finished and then can play. He usually asked for his food to stay on the table and depending on what it is he will go back to it and eat some of the rest. If he really hasn't touched it we generally offer him a snack after enough time so that he doesn't associate it with not eating his dinner. Having said that we don't like to make one food more special than another so if we decide we are having a pudding ( whatever it may be) before dinner we still serve it even if he has not eaten that much but to be honest that is not often.
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Re: Food Bribary? Do you?

Postby Tintin » 17 Feb 2012, 12:33

We tell Stompy she has to at least try everything before declaring she doesn't like it. If it's something she's never had before, or something I know she doesn't like (but we give it periodically in case her tastes change, and also now that Squeak is getting lots of things for the first time) then there will always be things on the plate that she does like (e.g. the plain rice that goes with pork stroganoff) or we have bread and butter as a 'side dish'. If she says she's not hungry we will say something like "does that mean you don't want pudding?" if she then says she does, then we'll say but you said you weren't hungry. She will usually then eat a little bit of something, then say "my tummy's full of X, but has room left for pudding". We will let her have yoghurt or fruit if she wants it.
DD1 Stompy, home-birthed Feb 08
DD2 Squeak, home-birthed March 11
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Re: Food Bribary? Do you?

Postby BigFlower » 20 Feb 2012, 21:23

I'm SOOOOOOO glad we do BLW, not rewarding with food, not insisting that plates have to be cleared.

At Sunday lunch with the ILs yesterday SIL found herself in the frankly ridiculous position of refusing to give her DD more cabbage when she asked for it as she had not yet eaten all her roast potato. Her DD (coming up 3) was BEGGING for more cabbage but she couldn't have it until she ate all her potato. :?

I also earned a black mark in my "dutiful daughter-in-law" book. PIL tried telling DD she couldn't have any more meat until she had eaten everything else on her plate (which incidentally I had served her, it was not things she had chosen, she'd had no say in what went on plate, I put a bit of everything for her to try). I was blocked into the corner of the dining room so had to ask FIL if I could have more meat. He obliged. I passed half of it straight to DD. DH tells me I had my "f*** off" face on.... :oops:

I always come away from eating with them feeling somewhat frazzled and exhausted from witnessing the bargaining, threatening and cajoling that seems standard practice there....and exhausted from biting my tongue!!!
DD - Feb 2010
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Re: Food Bribary? Do you?

Postby Glispee » 21 Feb 2012, 18:44

Sub out the ranch dressing for a decent mayonnaise or hummus. Then at least she's eating half a cup of something more nutritious and less salty.
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Re: Food Bribary? Do you?

Postby UnhappyRightFoot » 24 Feb 2012, 17:05

Isobel - I'm not much more the wiser either! Many of the repliees (?) are really interesting but apply to older children who probably understand the situation better than my 22 month old!!!

To answer your questions from our side:

Yes, i plate up with a little bit of everthing and she can choose what to eat.

If she only eats one thing, this is where we are in such a pickle, as she won't even try new food. This is all I want her to do - if she doesn't like it then that's fair enough, but I'd like her to give it a go!! As she's so keen on pasta, I started to put this with things other than tomato based sauces as a vehicle for her to try other things. The result is she generally doesn't eat the pasta either as it's got other stuff on it!! To give her a small amount of spag bol as a "vegetable/side dish" rather than the whole meal results in her eating this and demanding more without even trying anything else. This is where we are sort of using the bribary - you can have more of the pasta if you try something else on your plate. It doesn't work, though!!! I really fight with myself over wanting her to eat a more varied diet and being truly baby-led. I guess she'll progress to new foods in her own time, I just find it very frustating to be cooking lovely food and 5 nights of the week, know she won't eat any of it!! (I give her pasta at least twice a week so she gets a good dinner then! I have also discovered that if I give her pasta every night, she does get bored of it and won't eat it anyways!!! I can't win!!!!!)

We generally don't have "puddings" but I will give her fruit and yoghurt even if she didn't eat anything. She never gets ice cream (her favourite) if she didn't eat her dinner. She's a string bean anyway and only on the 9th centile so I have no wish to starve her completely!! She has a bottle before bed as well, but she has gone hungry after dinner by not eating what we give her - she's stubborn as hell!!!

I think she does understand she won't get another dinner, but only fruit. I just wish she'd try something new!!!!!!!

The foods she does eat are pretty healthy (but I think she's having too much salt despite my best efforts!!) and I know there are children out there who live on jam sandwiches, but JUST TRY IT!!!!!
Mummy to my two miracle baby girls - The Thunder Fairies. Munchie born May 2010 and Ickle Pickle born July 2012.

The one who struggles, hasn't quit.
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Re: Food Bribary? Do you?

Postby AwayinaChive » 24 Feb 2012, 17:48

I try and make dd1 eat at least one bite of everything, but I never feel like fighting about it so sometimes she gets away with not having any of some things. DD2, I'm happy if she eats any amount of anything! She eats so little, if she only wants plain pasta, or only blueberries, or only a banana for dinner, I'm happy! Depends on the kid and what you know you can expect from them normally.
DD1- 7/2007, DD2- 2/2010, DS- 7/2006- in heaven

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