New to BLW and feeling stressed

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New to BLW and feeling stressed

Postby Camillaalice » 04 May 2016, 19:21

This is my second baby. She's 10 almost 11 months now and I'm really struggling with weaning.
With my first wee girl who's nearly 3 now weaned totally fine. I didn't do BLW as such. Was definitely purée and spoons but also right from the word go she also had solid versions of whatever the purée was and more - pasta veggies bread etc and she was great. And still is. Olives asparagus prawn stir fries still on the menu which is great as we as a family have a pretty eclectic menu at times :D

Anyway i was hoping to follow the same path with my lovely little number 2 but they're right when they say not one child is the same. So I'm completely out of my comfort zone.
I started weaning at 6 months but the only solid food she wanted to try was crusty bread and any fruit and was super keen on very very smooth purées. Preferably from a pouch (which was my cheat when out and about) I think because the stage 1 ones are so sweet.
Anyway as time went on she started to refuse ANY of my food purred mashed or solid (unless it was bread or fruit) and started getting really mad if I tried to spoon feed her. She swipes her hand across her mouth - her way of telling me no. But then I get stressed and anxious and I think maybe that has given her a negative association ........

Because of this I have started to look into 'proper' BLW. Not very successfully :(
I make her a variety of meals. Some a success. Most often not.
The problem is texture I think. She won't touch pasta, or fish, or if I put soup on her bread she'll throw it away. And many many more things. She will touch it and then start flapping her arms and wriggling her fingers to get it off. And not put it in her mouth to taste it.
I admit that in my frustration I will sometimes sneak a little bit into her mouth when she's about to put some bread in or take a drink. And sometimes of she gets a taste, she realise she likes it, then devours the whole meal. Sometimes more the her sister!! :? And I feel relieved. But then if that sneaky wee bit I put in her mouth (I know! Not in the nature of BLW) if she doesn't like it she gets cross with me - understandably and then I feel terrible. But then what about the times she's really liked it.....
I feel stressed and upset so much of the time. I spend so much time making new stuff for her not to touch it. I try and keep the mantra I read 'food is fun until they're 1' going round in my head and mostly this works and the last few weeks I have just plastered a smile on my face and said to myself she'll eat when's she's ready. When she's hungry. But inside I'm crying. I think I've just become overly fixated on this and need to vent. Find people to talk to about my frustrations. I don't want to do wrong by her.

She is on 3 5oz bottles of formula. 1 when she wakes 1 after lunch and 1 before bed.

She is thriving. I spoke to the health visitor who didn't seem overly concerned. Adviced cutting a bottle feed which I did, and supported baby led weaning.

Maybe I should just be happy that she eats all fruit and would be happy to survive on bread cheese, cream cheese, cheese&spinach muffins and yogurt. (She does have yogurt on as spoon but she is able to do this herself if I load it up-although she often opens her mouth for me to put it in - I'm trying to stick with her being in control - as much as I can.

I didn't think I was this person - to get so stressed out about this. :( :( :(
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Re: New to BLW and feeling stressed

Postby Cofa's Tree » 05 May 2016, 06:09

Hi Camillaalice, all sounds a bit stressful! Could you try easing off for a couple of weeks to reduce the pressure on you both? Not make her any special foods, just give her bits of whatever the rest of the family are eating and just basically let her play if she wants, let her taste a bit if she wants or not, and see if being ignored and left to get on with it makes a difference?

And it's your choice as her mum, but I certainly wouldn't want someone pushing food into my mouth when I wasn't aware or expecting it :wink:

But if she's thriving and healthy then she doing ok, so maybe work on reducing your stress and she'll follow suit!
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Re: New to BLW and feeling stressed

Postby Kitcameron » 05 May 2016, 06:46

What cf said. I have nothing really to add except hugs ((()))
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Re: New to BLW and feeling stressed

Postby Camillaalice » 05 May 2016, 07:17

Thank you. That sounds like a good plan. So sensible but some days I can't see past my anxiety of wanting her to eat well, my sensibility goes out the window. I will give that a go. Appreciate the support. Thank you so much.
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Re: New to BLW and feeling stressed

Postby Lily » 05 May 2016, 08:00

Good advice. I just wanted to add that my LO also sometimes has an issue with the texture of sticky things on her hands. It helps a lot if I spear a bit on a fork for her so she can have a first taste without touching, then she's happy to dive in if she likes it. Might be worth trying?
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Re: New to BLW and feeling stressed

Postby Camillaalice » 05 May 2016, 12:05

I just read you advice lily and it's funny as I just tried this at lunch with pasta. It wasn't a success but I will keep trying! Thank you for advice! It's nice to know my little one isn't the only one funny about touching some foods xx
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Re: New to BLW and feeling stressed

Postby emzit » 05 May 2016, 13:12

Another thing you could do is some messy play with food - so you're not expecting her to eat it but maybe in a different setting she might be happier to handle it more and muck about with it, which could lead to her wanting to eat it later. I'm thinking soup painting, whipped cream, maybe some sort of hiding things in a bowl of pasta... that sounded so much better in my head...
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Re: New to BLW and feeling stressed

Postby Camillaalice » 06 May 2016, 07:37

I love the idea of messy play with food. With sunny days it's perfect to do it outside. Thank you! We went to a messy play birthday party and it was her idea of a nightmare! Sun shining this morning so will def do that! :)
Thank you everyone for support and advice. Was much more relaxed at dinner. Just let her sit on my knee and play with my food. A learning curve for us both xxx
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