Why do kids always find the worst books in the library?

[Brigitte]

Today at the library, sure enough, the very first book my kids asked me to read was some awful board book about parents doing all manner of song and dance and theatrics to get their baby to eat dinner. "You must eat, it's past your bedtime and you still have to eat your dinner! Try your peas, they will make you strong as an elephant! *Dad runs around like an elephant* etc. Just as the parents get too tired to do anything more, the baby eats something, and then it's all "GOOD JOB!!!" Also, this board book apparently came with cardboard airplane that you can attach to a spoon. It came with instructions about different airplane moves you could use at baby mealtime, like a loop-the-loop, the "sneak attack" where you swoop the spoon in from behind the baby's head so they can't see it coming, and the "airplane crash" which you crash into the baby's mouth. O. M. G.

[Brigitte]

In a slightly similar vein, I was royally irritated at an inexperienced nanny who was following her 2-year-old charge around the library asking her permission to please go home and have lunch, it's already past your nap time and you haven't had lunch yet, why won't you let us go home? The girl was of course thrilled to be asked permission and to deny it each time and to keep running around and playing (she wasn't being obnoxious, she was actually rather delightful). I wanted to smack the nanny. What kind of a moron feels incapable of leaving the library without a toddler's permission? And what are you thinking keeping her out past lunch time *and* nap time for the sole reason that she would rather stay and play? That will come back to haunt you later, lady.

[StJuniper]

Me, all the time, at the library: "No, I don't think so. This doesn't look like a very good book." Life's too short to read dumb swill.

[LucyLastic]

Ha, I thought you meant Dan Brown's books. Or the 'chick lit' section.

[mamapup]

I won't read crap either. I offended nursery the other day wheb the puppy asked to borrow a Mr man book and I said they weren't good and that we only read those in French. I looked like an arse! But it's true, no time for crap.

[EnigmaFish]

Great, so glad it's not just mine. I've started telling Kleintje that she can read it for herself when she's older, "When you learn to read, then you can pick that book." Hopefully the urge will have passed by then.

[ches]

I hope this makes you feel better:

1. T won't even choose books in the library, he's strictly (crappy) videos. I'm not sure he even notices the books.
2. T will not stop shouting in the library. TBH, he shouts every day when he gets home from school, every time he opens his mouth. (Must be hard to be heard at school?)
3. Today, I saw him squatting. "Are you having fun?" I said. "Uh-huh" said T, smiling. Then... (loudly) "I'M GOING TO GO POOP NOW." ... 5 minutes later, "MOMMY, THE BATHROOM WON'T LET ME POOP." Me: Um... what? T: <sighs> WELL... Me: Nobody else wants to hear about it. T: <whispers> Well, it keeps making a sound. Me: Do you want me to come check it out? T: Uh-huh. <walk hand-in-hand across the library> <With door open, T pulls down his pants and resumes pooping> Me: <dying from the smell> It seems to be working, should I go no? T: NO Me: <turning around> I'll just give you some privacy. T: <grunts> Toilet: <auto flushes> T: OH NO THERE'S POOP IN MY UNDIES. Me: If you bend over, the motion sensor thinks you got up and it flushes. You are pooping fine, but if you bend down to look it will flush it away. There is poop on your undies because you walked across the library without wiping your butt. <removes undies, tosses in bin> T: OKAY, I'M DONE NOW. Me: <wipes bum> <washes hands> <washes hands again>

Great news! We're going back on Thursday! I REALLY hope that the coffee shop that sells bubble tea will still be open so I can have a tapioca fueled sugar rush to get me through.