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A well meaning mother

PostPosted: 22 Jul 2016, 15:20
by GHJingle
My mum is amazing. We live in NZ but are currently in the uk for 8 weeks. My husband is spending time with my bedridden mil while myself and the kids stay with my parents. B is now 5.5 months and having gone with the theory that when he helps himself to my food he's ready we have started weaning. My mum is very experienced with babies having trained professionally as her nursery nurse in her youth and raised 4 kids herself. I'm the only child who has blw'd and she doesn't really understand it despite my explainations. She is being wonderful with the kids and as B is not sleeping much at night (waking me every 45 minutes to 1 hour) has sent me for much needed sleep during the day. Last week i gave in to her advice and agreed to try baby rice in the evening alongside whatever else I'm giving him in an effort to help him sleep better (although in my heart I know it doesn't really make a difference, it seemed the path of least resistance as ideally don't have the energy to fight with my mum!) this morning i learnt that she Gave him rice and mashed banana because he was hungry and she wanted me to get some sleep. I'm upset by this and don't know how to best approach it. We're a very non confrontational family and I'm in their house at their expense. My brain is sleep deprived mush and I can't seem to put my thoughts together coherently enough to explain why I don't want him to be spoonfed. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Re: A well meaning mother

PostPosted: 22 Jul 2016, 17:09
by ches
I would explain to her that weaning is a milestone that is more important to you than it was to her, and you'd rather be involved than asleep. I think she's trying to help, but doesn't realize that it's upsetting you. xox

Re: A well meaning mother

PostPosted: 22 Jul 2016, 20:25
by ChristmasGift
Hi GHJ - haven't seen you around these parts for a while! Not been in that situation but I did struggle with my Mum making lots of comments about how The Babs needed rice. I found it hard to get my point across without my Mum getting defensive. I think she saw it as a criticism of her parenting. Anyway I'm digressing - could you approach it from the perspective of not wanting to confuse him with two different approaches?

Re: A well meaning mother

PostPosted: 23 Jul 2016, 01:33
by Brigitte
ches wrote:I would explain to her that weaning is a milestone that is more important to you than it was to her, and you'd rather be involved than asleep. I think she's trying to help, but doesn't realize that it's upsetting you. xox


Perfect advice!

Re: A well meaning mother

PostPosted: 23 Jul 2016, 14:58
by EnigmaFish
Brigitte wrote:
ches wrote:I would explain to her that weaning is a milestone that is more important to you than it was to her, and you'd rather be involved than asleep. I think she's trying to help, but doesn't realize that it's upsetting you. xox


Perfect advice!


Except maybe leave out the bit about it being more important than it was for her? Just say that it's really important to you and you want to be awake. Unless she has actually told you that, you don't know, and she might take it as a criticism.

Re: A well meaning mother

PostPosted: 23 Jul 2016, 17:11
by Brigitte
EnigmaFish wrote:
Brigitte wrote:
ches wrote:I would explain to her that weaning is a milestone that is more important to you than it was to her, and you'd rather be involved than asleep. I think she's trying to help, but doesn't realize that it's upsetting you. xox


Perfect advice!


Except maybe leave out the bit about it being more important than it was for her? Just say that it's really important to you and you want to be awake. Unless she has actually told you that, you don't know, and she might take it as a criticism.


Good point.