violent chat

[mamapup]

Today, with no malice or anger we have had

Mummy, I'm going to pour boiling water on you and little Croc
Mummy I'll kill you

And a few others I can't remember.

He's a lovely little boy, no violence except the odd bash for little Croc, no anger really and he's perfectly able to express himself! I am assuming this is just him grasping various points about the world? He probably knows that boiling water is not a good idea as he and little Croc play in the kroom while I cook and I always move them back when the boiling water is moved around. Not sure if he understands the concept of killing.

Normal phase?

[MissKitty]

I can't comment on 'normal' as we are anything but, here, but ((((((mp)))))) - its awful to hear that kind of thing from the mouth of our little one

We have had similar to that "Mommy, I will beat you up!" And "Mommy, I will make you dead!" But these were not repeated. We think he was picking the theme up from another boy at preschool, as when we mentioned it his key carer noted she had similar concerns and they were working on introducing healthier words and actions. Indeed, when they did we had the 'Poo phase' turn into a comical Bill and Ted style 'Dude!' phase instead! And no more aggressive talk. We think the other boy may have a relative playing rough computer games or aggressive role play type things.

Is peer influence a possible factor for the Puppy?

[mamapup]

Yes, that's what we're assuming as this certainly isn't coming from home. He was playing with his toy kettle in the toy kitchen when he mentioned the boiling water so there was context so if we hadn't had the other comments I'd have totally ignored this one. He knows we don't like guns in our house as he wanted a really fun one we saw the other day, which led to a discussion about violence and why we are pacifists in this house. Could be a reaction I guess.

[mamapup]

Argh. I'm a dummy. Kroom mentioned in reply.

[Raktajino]

My psychoanalyst hubby would say its perfectly normal and very healthy to have murderous impulses! That he's expressing all his unconscious anger about having to share with a sibling, share toys, love etc. Anger at you for introducing this rival. He would say its all in fantasy, not that he actually intends to cause harm.
So congrats on having a little boy who's so in touch with his unconscious!

[mamapup]

Nice. Certainly never seen any actual anger from him at any of this.

[FestiveTidings]

[Where'stheMistletoe]

We had a "I'm going to kill you" phase directed at me and I had no idea where the words came from. It was relatively short lived I think. We just said it's not very nice to say that and explained what it meant but tended to not give it too much attention.

[DandelionFrosting]

Could it be something kind of like a thought experiment, or a plea for information? He can't really understand everything about what it means to kill someone yet, or what would actually happen if he did pour boiling water on you. I'd probably answer it like a question -- "If you do that, I'll get badly burned and have to stay in the hospital for weeks and weeks and get skin grafts," or, "If you kill me then I'll be dead forever and you won't have a mother anymore" or something like that. We'll see if I can actually be that calm about it when Saurus starts saying things like that -- ha!

[mamapup]

With the boiling water I did explain very clearly. The other comments I've just said that it's not a nice way to speak and left it.

[yorkshirepudding]

Glad I found this thread after a quick search! Moo has said he wants to kill E a few times, including yesterday when I said we wouldn't be playing with friends because X had chicken pox and he might catch it from him. Moo asked could E play with them, I said no because she might catch it. His response,"I want her to. Would she die?"!

Also lots of threats of kicking, shooting gas in eyes(?!), making her dead. Not a nice phase

[Treeb]

L has always been quite violent in the way he talks/plays. I see it as his way to process things he's seen or heard about, and also a way to express big feelings. I've developed a pretty thick skin towards it and often just ignore it but it does get to me sometimes.

Recently for him it's when we ask him not to do something, or to do something he doesn't want to, etc. He'll say something like "If you make me do that I'll just stab a hole in you!" Or "If you tell me that again I'll just kill you!" He does talk about hurting/killing A too (and in general is very rough with her.) Often it is phrased as question: "What if I knocked A off the steps?", "What if I whacked her with this?", etc. I try not to give him too much reaction to it and generally just say something like "Oh, that sounds like it would hurt her." and he generally moves on.