Expectations and Partners Who Work A Lot

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Expectations and Partners Who Work A Lot

Postby KatGoldLIN » 31 Jan 2011, 09:03

I know, I know, I am a bit of an advice junkie at the minute, but hey ho...

I was just wondering about how those of you who have partners who work a lot or work away much of teh time manage your expectations for 'help' when they are around?

DH works a lot...I would say once or twice a week he will work from 9pm-2 or 3am, sometimes pulling all nighters (If I haven't said it before NEVER run a charity in a recession!!!!).He consistently does bedtime and the dinner dishes when he is home, but can't manage to do much else. However, he does try to do other things, like the nursery run which is on his way to work or the garbage or a load of laundry, but it creates so much havoc, as he is always running late (often because he hasn't slept or has started working again at 5 or 6am) and then he gets very stressed out and its just misery for everyone.

On one hand, obviously I need help. I am struggling to carry G up and down the stairs these days, let alone laundry or walking both ways to nursery or whatever. I also think that he is paid and appreciated so little, I feel quite resentful that so much of our family time (and selfishly MY time) is taken up with the work of his charity. I also feel like its not just my responsibility to do EVERYTHING around the house, as I am not a servant. Also, he is unlikely to take paternity leave again and I just think its not right.

On the other (or on my nicer days), I feel really bad for him. He is so overworked. I want to be supportive. I don't want him to feel like we are a burden and sometimes think, well, maybe I should just do everything and leave it at that.

So, how do you all manage it? Do you have set jobs that OH does? Do you just take any bit of help as a "gift'?
Kat
Mum to E 02/04/2007, G 26/03/2010 and T 30/03/2011
KatGoldLIN
 
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Location: Scotland

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