Sentences you never expect to hear

Whatever you like, really, knock yourself out... I'm not the boss of you.

Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby Pagea » 04 Feb 2010, 14:08

"Mummy I need a screw"

I should point out that my two-year-old was referring to needing a screwdriver to open the back of my kitchen scales that run on batteries. She helped me replace them a while ago and it's now her favourite "DIY job".
SAHM to Rosie (Jan 2008)
Stork visiting again June 2010
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby Woodsies » 04 Feb 2010, 14:23

"Mummy can I put Tom's willy in my mouth?" :scream :scream :scream
Mummy to Hannah (November 2005) and Tom (October 2008)
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby The3Bens » 04 Feb 2010, 15:10

In a service station toilet cubicle.....
DD1 " Mummy why aren't you sitting down"
Me " Because I prefer not too when I'm not at home"
DD1 very loudly " Oh..I can see a piece of string hanging down...have you got a balloon in there?"

:scream Time for a very quick change of subject!!!
Mum to L born June 2003 and P born Oct 07.
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby becky.67 » 04 Feb 2010, 15:18

This thread has made me laugh so much, kids are the best entertainment. :D
My eldest Lily (3) was helping Daddy with some DIY, he revved the electric srew driver by her & she turned round to him & said "go screw yourself Daddy"! I was helpless!

Another hilarious comment (my DH will go mad if he knows I've told anyone let alone posted it)! He'd just got out of the shower & she saw him & said "I like your tiny little boob" refering to his willy! I thought it was very amusing he on the other hand didn't . :wink:

My neice asked her Dad when he got out of the bath "Is that a sausage roll"

Look forward to more funnies
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby CherryPop » 04 Feb 2010, 15:26

pmsl - brilliant ladies ;)

Keep 'em coming.
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby blossom » 04 Feb 2010, 20:36

Becky.67 VERY VERY funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jen... that is hilarious!

They are all so funny!
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby thebean » 04 Feb 2010, 22:52

These are soooo funny can not wait for H to start really talking!
Sarah mum to Harry born 26.01.09 and Jack 5.04.2011
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby skip » 04 Feb 2010, 23:30


Not a sentence, but one of the CM gave me the finger when he came out of school today. I was a little taken aback until I realised he was showing the hole in his glove.... The mums waiting next to me were in hysterics.
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby Eli » 06 Feb 2010, 09:47

Munchkin: We not bump into that [telegraph pole]. The wires are holding the houses up!
When I explained that they were telephone cables for telephone calls to go down she looked at me as if I was barmy and said 'no to hold houses up!' I suppose in a world of mobiles, phone cables is a hard concept, holding houses up much more sensible, though what it says about her opinion of the structural integrity of the houses on our street is interesting if slightly worrying!
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby shye » 06 Feb 2010, 10:36

Eden doesn't speak yet (unless you count 'uh-oh and moo') but my best friend's little boy came out with this corker:

--scene: tegan is 2 1/2, his little sister leyna is 4 months old --

mummy: leyna, would you like some boob? (to the crying baby and starts feeding her)
tegan: auntie shear, would YOU like some boob?
Mummy to E (nov 08) and Birdy (dec 10)
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby 3KiwiChicks » 06 Feb 2010, 18:14

Alex says to me at the diner table. "Mum I think we need another baby. But we need a boy this time please".

:? :? :? :? :? :?
Three little chicks, all BLWed. Two at school and one preschooler. Not around much any more, but think of you all often.
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby rachelm » 08 Feb 2010, 07:50

love these. Waking me up after a night of no sleep! we have so many funny sentences, i keep mean to keep a list for her 18th birthday but forget.

My mum couldn't stop laughing when during sunday dinner, Ellie had a fidget and then announced 'my hip just clicked' Apparantly that is a sentence that 2 3/4 year olds don't say. I thought it was normal.

When i was feeding 4 month old Owen 'Mummy, please cover your boob up!'

When pressing on my (still flabby from pregnancy) tummy, 'MUmmy your tummy is bouncy, very bouncy. I think there is another baby in it. We need another baby Owen'

At a birthday party yesterday Ellie:'I don't like those' (talking about twiglets)
Me: 'why don't you try one to see'
Ellie: 'Me and Poppy already tried them and didn't like them so we put them back'

Love it!
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby catkin » 08 Feb 2010, 09:31

Loving all the quotes. Can't believe our little squeaky mouse will be coming up with these things in a year or three!

FOr now, a sentence i never thought I'd be saying as a BLW parent: "No mousie, it's for eating, not for poking." in my defence, i was referring to my nipple at the time.
Mum to Mouse b May 2009 & Little Hamster b Feb 2012.
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby Milkymoos » 08 Feb 2010, 15:00

I just go back to the beginning and read all these if I am feeling a bit pants, makes me giggle my socks off!

Noonie at the weekend whilst simultaneously shoving a sandwich crust up her nose "What are teeth for?" I resisted the urge to remind her that there weren't any up her nose :wink:
Mummy to two Homebirthed, Breastfed and BLW smalls. Noonie - Born on 15/10/07 and Snuggy Bear- Born on 5/7/2010. Both officially now at school!!!
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Re: Sentences you never expect to hear

Postby bimbambalooms » 08 Feb 2010, 17:01

"Nanna, wanna see my new cock?"

We bought him a Gro-Clock, he loves it and likes to show all our visitors. It won't be anywhere near as funny when he learns to pronounce "cl" properly :D
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Snufflebum, a gorgeous FIVE year old!
Snugglechops, has just turned TWO!
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