LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Oh look, it's broadly a place to talk about special occasions, party tips and to swap present ideas but let's be perfectly honest, this forum is here because I want to get excited about CHRIIIIIISTMAS from about June onwards.

LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby yorkshirepudding » 13 Aug 2014, 18:40

I know this is a little premature, but I'm assuming by the law of averages that some of you or your LO's have birthdays around Christmas like Moo. For his first bday last year we did a small party and were overwhelmed with presents, and then a few days later overwhelmed by more Christmas presents (lucky boy).

We've been talking about doing an unbirthday/ half birthday whatever, in June, which we didn't do this year obviously as he had a proper 1 year birthday. I want to decide now what we will do and hopefully set it as the norm for him, so he just accepts and enjoys what happens for him which might be different from his friends. Also want to tell family especially as my parents in particular will be a law unto themselves!

So, thinking of having day/ meal out/ cake on his actual birthday just with us and any relatives that are around because it's near Christmas anyway, with maybe 1 present from us. Then full on party/ presents on his half birthday for friends and family. Not sure how to stop all the cards arriving on his birthday though! Pros/ cons/ how to do it differently please! Don't want him to feel his birthday doesn't matter, suppose I will just sell it to him that he has 2 (and any future siblings can be jealous of that!). Thanks for reading epic post which I thought was going to be quite simple.
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby PerpetualMadness » 13 Aug 2014, 19:03

Most of the people I know with birthdays near Christmas really resent them being overlooked so, if you're set in doing this, I might ask for cards to arrive. On his birthday but presents on the half birthday and be prepared to review as he gets older and realises what is normal elsewhere.
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby StJuniper » 13 Aug 2014, 19:21

R is Dec 15 and at this point I'm thinking of celebrating as a family on his real birthday, but sometimes doing his kids parties (when he's older, obvs!) in the summer sometimes bc summer parties are so fun.
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby RJandA » 13 Aug 2014, 19:38

Li'l A is Boxing Day, which really sucks. Even so, I don't think we'll do a half birthday celebration. It just seems too complicated, I'm sure Big A would then demand 2 birthdays, plus if you did it in the summer then people might be away on holiday anyway. I think as he gets older and we start having parties with friends then we'll do that a week or two after his actual birthday otherwise no one will be able to come. I have made it clear to family that joint presents are banned though.

I also figured that I'd never be able to stop family buying presents for his actual birthday, and so having a half year birthday would just mean we're asking for extra.

I'm more worried about when he's older and no one will be around to go to the pub with him. :-(. Poor kid. On the other hand, he was 2 weeks early and it certainly wasn't my idea to have him at Christmas.....
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby t&n's mummy » 13 Aug 2014, 19:48

T is 17th it is crazy but we generally spread Xmas presents over quite a long time period so it isn't such an issue, we also encourage family to buy none toy presents or save money to spend in the summer. The biggest issue is trying to get other people to give him a present for both rather than a joint present which I find really annoying. I wouldn't try the half birthday thing as this is his birthday and could lead to more issues with siblings/family members that don't get it?
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby sabrina fair » 13 Aug 2014, 19:49

My birthday is just before Christmas. I've never minded it. My parents were clear that Christmas didn't start until after my birthday (i.e. decorations didn't go up). As far as I was concerned, having both birthday and Christmas just meant more to look forward to at that time of year! Plus, my birthday tended to coincide with breaking up for the school holidays so there was always a feeling of celebration all round.

I really think it's more about how special and your family make your child feel on their birthday than exactly when it is.

I also didn't mind joint presents - but it would be for bigness of present rather than laziness, and my brother sometimes also had joint presents too.
Last edited by sabrina fair on 14 Aug 2014, 16:13, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby Cofa's Tree » 13 Aug 2014, 20:37

I'm 22nd December and my parents told me that my birthday started Christmas (in the sense that it marked the start of the good times)...and I still believe and say that now! I used to love having the tree and decorations up as no-one else did, and on the fairly rare occasions it snowed on my birthday, it seemed special. I never had joint presents (until I was older and choose that as a way of getting an item which was more than the normal budget) and my birthday was never overlooked - I always had a family and a school friends celebration. My only whinge was that I never had a bbq like my brother did, so my wonderful Dad did a bbq in the cold when I was in my mid-20s to shut me up!

The only downside was having to wait 11 long months if you saw something you really wanted in January!

I love having my birthday when it is, and as sf says, it is as special as you want to make it as a family, whenever it is. I would make a special space though for cards so they don't get lost in the Christmas cards.
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby Feefielou » 14 Aug 2014, 07:34

I love this thread! I hadn't even thought about this issue, but Moonbeam made a surprise early appearance on 18th December last year so we will be in much the same boat (and I will be forever grateful to her for saving me from hosting a Christmas party and cooking a full-on Christmas dinner for eight relative strangers at 36 weeks pregnant, which was DH's clever idea and which thankfully was cancelled).

There are some great suggestions here. The idea of suggesting non-toy presents for the birthday and toys for Christmas is excellent. I love the idea of letting Moonbeam's birthday mark the beginning of the festivities, and letting her decorate the tree. This year there's nooooo way we can avoid her being showered with gifts twice over as we are flying to the Latino in-laws who are 100% certain to throw a huge party for her and give her more gifts than we can possibly fit in our suitcases. They will also be universally pink, I am willing to bet money on that.
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby DandelionFrosting » 14 Aug 2014, 08:25

I also have a Christmas birthday (December 12th) and have come to terms with it. ;) It is a busy season and way too many presents all at once, but I think there are drawbacks and good points to having a birthday in almost any season. Start of school term -- you're in a new class and don't have enough time to get to know your classmates well enough to decide who to invite. Summer -- you can't celebrate in school and your friends might all be on holiday. Exam time -- when you're older, everybody might be too busy studying to come to your party. You could have your birthday on a national holiday or during spring break or on the first day of deer season. (Will I reveal my country-bumpkin-hood if I say that's a big deal where I come from?) So I think everybody just pretty much learns to embrace what they've got.

That said, I did usually manage to have a party, usually with just a few of my best friends (it's a great excuse not to have to invite your entire class!), and my family also graciously waited until the day after my birthday to start putting Christmas decorations up. That was actually something I liked -- it's nice to have something set up to look forward to after your birthday is over; it softens the let-down a bit, and also kind of feels like somehow all the decorating and festivities are for you. And when I got older I liked having the "option" of requesting an extra-big present that would be a combined Christmas/birthday present.

The two things that bothered me the most were getting birthday presents wrapped in Christmas paper, and the fact that I never got any summer stuff. But, you know, as Moo gets older and starts to care, I'm sure he will tell you what he does or doesn't like, and you can adapt to what he wants.

X-posted! :D
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby Ali70 » 14 Aug 2014, 08:45

We have godsons with birthdays just before and just after Xmas. We buy them a present for their birthdays and give them money for Xmas. Then they can use that money during the year if they see something they want.
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby emzit » 14 Aug 2014, 08:53

I don't really like the idea, for a few reasons. The main one is that i don't think you can get away with not getting any presents on the actual birthday. I can't see him being happy with only one present on his actual birthday when siblings get more, or siblings being happy that he gets two 'birthdays'. And I know that my family wouldn't dream of not getting my boys presents on their actual birthday so I would feel like I'm asking for two.

Also, practicalities. For the half birthday how do you do cake? Do you call it the birthday just gone or the one coming? Because there's never going to be a whole number so it will never be the right age.

And finally, I'd worry that as they got older they'd think that not celebrating on their actual birthday meant that it wasn't a big deal and didn't matter that much. I'd rather make a big deal on the actual birthday even if it meant sacrificing some of Christmas than choose an arbitrary day that doesn't really mean anything.
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby yorkshirepudding » 14 Aug 2014, 10:46

Ok so no backers for the half birthday, we will have to reconsider! Thanks for all the input. His is the 23rd so pretty close to Christmas to wait for decorations to go up afterwards, but yep I had thought of some of the points above and in a way it would be easier to do the birthday at the right time (and it's a special day for me and his dad too, so nice to do a proper celebration).

Only problem is my divorced parents aren't local so would have to be here for Christmas too if they came to the party (aaargh)!
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby Lioncub's mama » 14 Aug 2014, 10:52

Thanks for starting this thread - e is december 23rd aswell and we'd also wondered about a june half birthday so its interesting to see everyone's responses!
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby sabrina fair » 14 Aug 2014, 13:00

I'd just do the party a bit early I think - that way people are out of the way by Christmas. I think you can justify that as saying you want to separate the celebrations from Christmas a bit - but not as much as a half birthday. Just pick the weekend before. If the birthday's on a weekend still go the weekend before. He gets some presents early and the ones from you actually on his birthday.
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Re: LO birthday at Christmas time, wwyd

Postby yorkshirepudding » 14 Aug 2014, 14:05

good plan sf, save me from my family!
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