A family/inlaws relationship-saving vent thread

[Pics]

WooooooHOOOOOOO! Are you going to spend the day vegging out?

[Fullhouse]

We are all still in our pjs, we had porridge for breakfast - I know that doesn't sound particularly wild but we haven't done all the time they've been here, too complicated with all their requirements - and we might get dressed soon ish and go for a walk or something. Then think about the state of the house!

[PerpetualMadness]

Yay!

[blossom]

woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[skip]

Freedom for fullhouse!!!

[ches]

Edited to remove rant as the sulk is over IYSWIM.

[Disco]

thats crappy ches. I hope he comes round.

Woohoooo for fullhouse!

[LIN'sNotDIM]

Fullhouse, yay, I'm glad you've got some peace and quiet now!

Ches, that's rubbish. I hope he sorts himself out soon.

I've been (fairly) quietly stewing about the visit to my Dad and Stepmum's ever since Monday. I say 'fairly' because I did have a good rant to my Mum about it yesterday, but other than that I've been quiet!

I just feel bad for Dylan because he's being pushed aside in favour of my Stepsister's ten month old son. They were there on Monday, even though my Dad said it would just be us and my Granny for lunch. My Stepbrother, his girlfriend and her five year old were there too, and their big golden retriever (who is actually lovely and quite well behaved, especially around the littlies). It was so busy and noisy and Dylan really doesn't deal with that sort of situation well. He was also quite upset, understandably, by the way he was given lots of attention until my Stepsister and her baby boy arrived, then he suddenly had to watch J getting all the attention, cuddles and toys. At one point he tried to throw a ball at J's head and everyone started shouting at him. He shouldn't have done that, but (and I'm not making excuses) it was small and hollow and made of a very thin plastic (like the balls you get in a ball pit) so it wasn't so dangerous that he needed to be scared by everybody suddenly yelling at him.

My Stepmum held J pretty much constantly. At lunch time DH, the boys and I were seated at one end of the table while my Stepsister and J were seated at the other end next to my Dad and Stepmum, so they spent the entire time chatting to him and making a fuss of him. I realise this sounds a bit petty but I'm trying to see it through my little boy's eyes. We haven't really spent much time round there while J has been there so I don't think Dylan is used to 'sharing' his grandparents, and it didn't help that the 'sharing' was pretty unequal.

Poor Dylan didn't get a nap all day and was so worn down and emotional by the end of the day that he couldn't even bear to let go of DH or me for long enough to put his shoes on it was meant to be a lovely Christmassy day for him but it was all kind of spoilt by being largely ignored by his grandparents and shouted at every time he went anywhere near either of the babies!

[BLIN&M]

Grrr Ches. hugs to you & DIM ((())).

Well FIL rang this am while DH was in bed to explain about the whole "mix up" & frankly come up with excuses:
It's inconvenient for us (well only because you chose somewhere further north)
He shouldn't be around children after his treatment (so don't kiss them!)
It's not a bug party just Sunday lunch(with all the family including friends)

So they won't change the venue even though they know how upset DH is. They said we could do something with them for MIL's 70th. Gee thanks!

Whilst I doubt they did this on purpose the sheer thoughtlessness & unwillingness to accommodate their own grandchildren is shocking. I bet on the day it will be all "they couldn't come" rather than a "we chose a place with a no kids policy"!

[wacky12]

I'd mention it to a few people - siblings? who are going so they may pipe up if that's said.

[Fozza]

B&M your Dh still should go and explain to everybody who asks why you are not there and how upset everybody is.

[Noir]

I ventured to the inlaws alone yesterday- not something I will usually do, and I remembered why. DH couldn't come as he was dying of a cold. MIL was feeling very sorry for him and I said about being worried as it was just a cold, but the ridiculous hours (like working outside and finishing at 1am, then going back in at 5.30 the next day) he's doing and still smoking was not going to end well. My dad did simular when I was younger and nearly died of pneumonia. Apparently what he's doing is having a work ethic and me thinking it's a bit stupid (which it is- there is no need, I think he's worried about money but hasn't said as much to me, but he's going to end up having to go off sick at this rate) is being unsupportive and ungreatful. Then I stupidly mentioned about going to college. This was not taken well. It's tantamount to neglect of the girls, totally taking the piss of the husband that supports me, and what I should be doing is getting a cleaning job or similar whilst the girls are at school. <rolls eyes> I wonder where DH gets it from!

[Disco]

Wow Noir....I can see why your DH has been digging his heels in when he was brought up with THOSE ideals. (((())))) good luck.

((DIM))

[BLIN&M]

DH told nephew which is what prompted the "I know you're upset but nothing is changing" phOne call yesterday which I fielded.

Noir

[blossom]

(((BM))) I would tell more people if possible.
(((DIM)))