Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Second babies? Forgotten everything about breast and formula, napping and wrapping and you are are going a bit MAD because you haven't slept in three days? Or it's your first baby and you are here researching the joys of weaning?

Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby StJuniper » 29 May 2016, 10:54

...it's not something I ever really considered so beyond knowing that there are safe and unsafe ways to do it, I'm in the dark. Tumbleweed ended up in bed with us last night after around 3am when I could no longer stay awake enough to hold her and sit up to nurse. She spent half the time in my arms and half in DHs, we slept on our sides with one arm under or around her head. And it was great, we all slept really well, but I want to make sure she's safe as well as rested... Help, lovely people!

In other news, my milk came in-- forgot what enormous melons I was going to have! So all her cluster feeding last night paid off.
Mama to two boys, the Scout Kid P, 02/26/12 and the Feral Kid R 12/15/13, and one little Tumbleweed girl, 05/27/16.
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Re: Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby emzit » 29 May 2016, 13:20

This is some good advice from our national SIDS organisation:
http://www.sidsandkids.org/wp-content/uploads/Sleeping-with-a-baby-2007_Cit-sugg1.pdf

The main things, as far as I can remember, is to keep pillows and bedding away from her, - it's recommended that she sleeps next to only you so there's less risk of bedding being pulled up over her face, don't do it on a sofa, there's more risk is you're ubder the influence or too tired, firm mattress and nothing underneath, never on a sofa.

The greatest risk factor for SIDS in cosleeping babies though is being formula fed so hurrah for milk coming in! I think this is because breastfeeding mothers tend to have the baby down lower in the bed so they can go straight for the boob, and this means that the mum is usually cocooned around the baby to keep it in place and protected. I always slept on my side with one arm above squish's head and knees bent in. Now that he's bigger I have to straighten my legs a bit and he sleeps using my arm as a pillow which is lovely but restricting!

Glad to hear you're feeling well rested and long may it continue! :?
mini muncher 8/11
little squish 3/14
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Re: Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby StJuniper » 29 May 2016, 14:33

Thanks emit, that's helpful. I'm a little confused about where she would go, though, if she's not supposed to be between us, or at the edge, or along a wall. What other spots are there?
Mama to two boys, the Scout Kid P, 02/26/12 and the Feral Kid R 12/15/13, and one little Tumbleweed girl, 05/27/16.
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Re: Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby Lily » 29 May 2016, 16:16

We had a foam wedge under the mattress cover on my side of the bed, so Izbiz could sleep beside me without rolling out. He still uses it as a bed rail. I got it from a British company and I'm not sure they ship internationally, but you could get similar from an upholstery foam supplier.

ETA link:
http://www.purpledaisies.co.uk/shop/bed-guards/
Izbiz, May 2012
Bee, April 2015
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Re: Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby Kanga » 29 May 2016, 18:02

I never liked them in between us as dh sleeps quite heavily but I know some people have used bed mest things in the middle of the bed. Personally I went with baby at the edge of my side of the bed. Or on the odd occasion us both in the middle of a double bed!!
Mummy to 2 gorgeous munchkins who are trying to eat us out of house & home! Dd A born July 08 and ds J born June 12. V3 due October 2014.

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Re: Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby Cofa's Tree » 29 May 2016, 18:36

I think you've got to find your level of safe and comfortable and go with that...emzit's advice is spot on and most official advice will err on the extreme side of caution (as it is absolutely correct to do), but Lottie's slept in with us from around midnight most nights of her life. She's in-between the two of us, with the cover over the bottom half of her. We have a king-sized bed and push our pillows to the edges so the middle space is hers. I sleep facing her with my arm curled under/along her legs and up her back so I can feel if my husband moves too close and can push him back. I find I'm pretty in- tune with her wakings and will stir as she stirs, but I'm not a particularly heavy sleeper myself - if I knew I was a heavy sleeper I might be more concerned at having her between the two of us. Daniel did the same, but from 18 months until 2 years, so maybe being more used to a bigger child made me more relaxed at having Lottie between us, but it works for us, although I'm not saying it's right for anyone else - that's for you to decide :) . Enjoy your night-time cuddles!
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Re: Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby ches » 29 May 2016, 21:57

My DH is a (light) smoker and my left shoulder and hip have ancient injuries that mean I sleep on my right (and on the right) - so I always had the boys sleep on the edge. When they were tiny they didn't actually co-sleep as much as post-6m old. T had the Fisher-Price Rock-'n-Play sleeper and slept really well in that. It folds up and is really tidy. He slept in that next to the bed and since I was usually changing a nappy of a night feed, I mostly put him back in. The rock-and-play sleeper has been so great that it's still doing the rounds of the street we lived on when T was born (dubbed "Fertility Row" by the residents). It's in my top 5 must-haves for a new baby. Anyway, when they were tiny if we co-slept I didn't have them on my arm, not until they were bigger. If you want Tumbleweed between you and DH I'd put her up high next to your heads so that the blanket stays away from her (pillows possibly an issue then, though?) or if you're in the post partum sweating phase and aren't using blankets anyway, I'd have her sleep with her head just below your arm.
BLPT Guidelines thread: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=4477&p=48324
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Re: Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby StJuniper » 29 May 2016, 23:39

I am deep in the throes of the postpartum sweating phase!
Mama to two boys, the Scout Kid P, 02/26/12 and the Feral Kid R 12/15/13, and one little Tumbleweed girl, 05/27/16.
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Re: Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby emzit » 30 May 2016, 03:11

We had the cot side carried when squish was little, until he started rolling out and was in danger of falling on the floor. After that we wedged a foam piece cut to size between the wall and mattress. Still use it now.

If you're using blankets now you could pop her on top of she's in the middle, personally I wouldn't put her higher up due to pillows and ease of milk access!
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Re: Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby Brigitte » 30 May 2016, 21:38

Here in Canada our rules are:

Have a firm sleeping surface with no extra blankets or pillows or anything anywhere near the baby. Sleep sacks are great if your baby needs extra warmth because you just wear them and they can't get moved up to the baby's face. Never let your baby sleep on a couch or in a carrier or otherwise being held if the holder is also going to sleep, like in a chair or something.

No cosleeping if parents have been drinking or are otherwise under the influence of anything that might make them sleep more deeply than usual. No loose long hair or loose pyjamas. Parental obesity is also a risk factor.

Having a smoker in the same home as the baby is a huge risk factor for SIDS, even if the smoker only smokes outdoors, the clothing they wear can bring the smoke inside.

The safest position for a baby is beside one parent only, not in between two, so at the edge of the bed.

If you like, have a fan circulating some air in the room for good measure.

I can't remember the rest, I've got a newborn of my own and I'm off to go take a nap while I can! (I suppose I should officially announce that birth on the forum and not hijack this thread...long story short, he's a boy, he came very late but very fast on May 15th, and all is well. Now I go sleep. Cosleep, even.)
I love my kiddos! Two April girls (2011 and 2013) and a May boy (2016). I guess we have spring babies in this family.
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Re: Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby Cofa's Tree » 31 May 2016, 07:50

Congratulations Brigitte!
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Re: Talk to me about safe cosleeping...

Postby StJuniper » 31 May 2016, 19:15

Yes, congrats! And thanks for the advice, everyone! I'm really enjoying co-sleeping so far, not having to decide to get up and nurse is revelatory. :D
Mama to two boys, the Scout Kid P, 02/26/12 and the Feral Kid R 12/15/13, and one little Tumbleweed girl, 05/27/16.
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