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clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2015, 17:21
by CaelaCoo
How do I tackle it...please?!

Connor has become a total mummys boy...he won't let my OH do anything for him..not even a bottle. This means I am the one feeding him all the time, comforting him etc and it is exhausting. My poor husband feels shunned by it all.

No good telling me to leave him and he will eventually eat. Tried that this morning as for some reason he woke me up at 3.30. This meant by 7 I was cream cracked. Hubby sent me to bed. Connor refused to eat and actually went to sleep in the end screaming which was stressfull for ny OH.

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2015, 18:30
by Lily
Probably not what you want to hear, but it's a phase - I think you just have to wait it out. Maybe he's just starting to become more aware of who you are, and notice more when you're gone. Eventually he'll realise that you always come back, and he'll be able to relax more with other people.

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2015, 19:24
by FestiveTidings
I'm afraid it's just a normal stage - at least it was for my 2 boys. It is exhausting, but it doesn't last for ever. It did get worse when they were teething. I had no option but to sling it for the Wee One, it was the only way to keep everyone happy.

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2015, 19:44
by CaelaCoo
^^^

I was afraid you would say that.... :(

Is there no way I can try to encourage him to take a bottle from his dad? Even if I am sat next to OH he still wont take a bottle..or even just sit with him

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2015, 20:00
by babydsmummy
We had this with both boys. I can't be sure how much it helped, but I tried to get DH doing a regular part of the boys' care and something they didn't get much choice in! I think it was getting them dressed in the morning - they'd had a bottle already so they didn't have too much to complain about so while I was getting dressed/having a shower DH got them ready. He didn't see much of them during the week so managed a fairly enthusiastic, fun, tickling, peek a boo type of change which I was generally too exhausted for at that point. The phase did pass though, and I don't think it lasted long for either of them. The refusing to wee with Daddy when D was 3 was another fun stage!!

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2015, 02:01
by ches
It's okay to say "he's with his dad getting living care" and leave them to it. Probably easier on both of them if you're out of earshot. It would be magic if our babies never cried, but they do, and its part of bonding for dad to get a turn comforting them - even for an extended period of necessary. Do you have a Moby or SSC he can use?

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2015, 07:02
by pirate_han
We have a lot of this too. We have found that A will 'allow' (ha) DH to bath him after dinner if I leave the room - if I'm in the room A just looks at me in panic and screams, if I walk in halfway through the bath he will do the same so I leave them to it and have ten minutes off! A is also quite happy in our SSC if DH back carries him, particularly if DH is hoovering (front carry he won't tolerate from DH - lack of boobs maybe? :)) If he's having a bad day he won't let anybody else hold him, only I will do still but DH has tried to build up little and often where possible. Something routine that they consistently do together seems to work well.

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2015, 11:57
by StJuniper
I was going to suggest the same as others-- a part of the day your DH always does. For us it's getting ready for bed. After dinner I do the dishes in peace while DH takes the boys to their room, plays with them for a while, then gets them ready for bed. Then we do tucking in and saying goodnight together. P was resistant to DH doing bedtimes when we started it but it quickly becomes unquestioned routine.

It's also interesting how anything they do out of the house, or when I'm out of the house, is not subject to "I want Mummy to do it." Like they want the familiar one if you're hovering in the background, but if they know you're not available they don't mind.

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2015, 11:59
by CaelaCoo
Some good ideas there but he will resist my husband even if I am not around.

For example I was asleep yesterday upstairs and he still refused the bottle from OH. He was starving by the time I got up to feed him

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2015, 12:05
by StJuniper
But does it have to be bottles? I'd suggest starting with something less fundamental-- a playtime, bath, etc.

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2015, 14:37
by ches
Do you bottle feed or nurse?

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2015, 19:34
by CaelaCoo
Bottle

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 04 Aug 2015, 00:28
by ches
Hmm. J wouldn't take one from DH at all. My grab came to visit and he drank then all. Babies can be flummoxing!

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 22 Aug 2015, 17:34
by CaelaCoo
Argh tell me it does end!!!!!!!

Dh cant do anything!! I went to a party last night with molly and left dh bed Connor. As soon as I left the room he threw a fit.

Credit to dh he persevered through it but it took him 90 mins to get him to stop screaming...

Re: clingy behaviour

PostPosted: 22 Aug 2015, 20:32
by Where'stheMistletoe
Baby Girl was the same CC - had to be me holding her All.The.Time! It definitely does get better. I think she started accepting DH more around 9 months ish - maybe when she was moving around under her own steam. It is exhausting but I promise it will get better and you'll completely forget how long it lasted.