Would you tell the HV that you cosleep?

Second babies? Forgotten everything about breast and formula, napping and wrapping and you are are going a bit MAD because you haven't slept in three days? Or it's your first baby and you are here researching the joys of weaning?

Re: Would you tell the HV that you cosleep?

Postby sully » 09 Aug 2013, 20:34

Thanks all. Well, i was worrying about nothing, as the question wasnt asked this time round. She did ask me about 8 times if i was finding breastfeeding ok and was i sure i didnt have any issues, to the point where i just told her i was still feeding my 28 month old, so i really was fine with the whole bf thing! :D
Pumpkin, b April 2011
Sweetpea, b July 2013
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Re: Would you tell the HV that you cosleep?

Postby fourweewonders » 10 Aug 2013, 19:22

yep with first child and was told it'd kill him (but a few weeks before he was born a baby in their caseload was accidentally smothered when exhausted mum fell asleep on thr sofa with it, so they were insanely paranoid) also had had armed myself with supporting evidence.

With 2nd again just told then we practiced safe cosleeping - they were still worried about o.h being type 1 diabetic but i was always between him and newbaby. As E got older it was apparent she was incapeable of sleeping for more than 20mins if she wasnt incontact with one of us so we were pretty risky cosleeping but the altenative of only getting sleep in 10 minute bursts put us both into homocidal rage and E was safer if we got sleep than if we wanted to launch her out of bedroom window.

by child 3&4 they presumed i was an expert parent, i did inform the h.v on her first visit that they were shareing 1 sidecar cot,
Mum to B (b.sept 2006) & E (b.sept 2009) and R & A (b.july 2011).
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Re: Would you tell the HV that you cosleep?

Postby Biddy » 11 Aug 2013, 10:27

With DD1 I nearly fell asleep sitting up in bed bfing her and found she was nearly falling out of my arms onto the floor :( I would also waking up many many times in the night terrified because she wasn't in my arms and I must've dropped her, only to realise she was asleep in the Moses basket. Horrible horrible. After that I definitely co-slept with DD2, felt safer and I got more sleep and didn't have those awful night terrors. Plus DD2 woke every half hour to an hour so the basket just wasn't an option!
I lied (stretched the truth) to my HV, for the same reasons as Nixxie. I did have a Moses basket and I did try using it occasionally so I wasn't totally lying! But I was confident in my decision to safely co-sleep and I couldn't be bothered to listen to a lecture from an uninformed HV who had already given me all the 'your baby will die' statistics.
S - Oct 2009
A - June 2011
Y - Sept 2014
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Re: Would you tell the HV that you cosleep?

Postby squirt » 11 Aug 2013, 11:16

I told every hp who'd care to listen. I wanted them to be aware that this is what women do and choose to do. If they objected I'd spam them with all the research saying it's much saver. I'd also explain the rules to them and go into teacher mode and before you know it, we'd swapped roles LOL.
I have no shame in educating people.
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Re: Would you tell the HV that you cosleep?

Postby ceem » 11 Aug 2013, 12:23

squirt wrote:I told every hp who'd care to listen. I wanted them to be aware that this is what women do and choose to do. If they objected I'd spam them with all the research saying it's much saver. I'd also explain the rules to them and go into teacher mode and before you know it, we'd swapped roles LOL.
I have no shame in educating people.


Hi can you provide a link to say that cosleeping is safer? Weve always doen it as it feels right for us but I always thought it was a bit risky but we did it anyway lol! x
Hiya! Im a SAHM with DD 2009 , DS1 2012..... 3 little ones both loved and lost peacefully at home and our miracle rainbow DS2 2015.......we practice what comes naturally and we are loving it!
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Re: Would you tell the HV that you cosleep?

Postby qbm » 11 Aug 2013, 13:12

We were in a bit of a different situation really in that I wasn't initially confident of my decision to start with and my HV had been unhelpful about other things.

I was always under the impression that if you shared a bed with your baby they would die. End of. I honestly didn't know it was a choice which makes me feel really naïve now. If you'd asked me if we would cosleep with Froglet I would have said no way. Then Froglet was born and the MWs in the hospital put her in to sleep with me. They gave me no explanation and no advice. I remember thinking how odd it was. We brought her home, put her in her Moses basket. When we went to bed I brought her in for a feed, sat up in bed with OH awake to help stop me falling asleep and all of a sudden it was hours later and we'd both fallen asleep knackered. I literally thought she wouldn't be breathing when I realised what had happened. Literally. We both sat up again to feed her and talked about awful it was that we'd fallen asleep in the bed. Guess what happened again? And I had the same reaction as the first time.

Needless to say the next day I spent hours researching safe cosleeping (only then discovering it actually had a name) and OH and I decided that was what would work for us. We never looked back.

I can see very easily from my own experience how easy it would be to fall asleep on a sofa with a newborn and just writing this brings it back and makes me feel quite emotional. I wish I had had even some knowledge about this beforehand but somehow, despite spending a lot of time lurking on babycentre, it missed my radar.

I will, however, probably tell the HV this time. It will be the same one and now I have experience and confidence to stand up for my decisions that she disagrees with such as co-sleeping, extended bf and, shock horror, BLW.

And a lot of that confidence has come from this forum.

<voice breaks, noisily blows nose> :)
E - Aug 11
M - Feb 14
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Re: Would you tell the HV that you cosleep?

Postby Svea » 13 Aug 2013, 05:41

My ante-natal midwife discussed it with me, first right at the beginning and then again closer to the end just as that latest bit of 'research' was published. I said I had read it and found it wanting, she agreed with me and that was that.
My HV who came to home visit at 10days asked and I told her. She was 6 months pregnant with her first so we had a general discussion about babies, the wonder weeks and cloth nappies. She wrote down the details of the wonder weeks book as she thought it sounded great- not prescriptive parenting but explanations as to the different stages of baby's development plus some games to play.
Mama to M since 02/10/07, P since 08/03/10 and O 07/06/13
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