Potty training at nursery - WWYD?

Cloth nappies, disposies, potty training... the inevitable result of BLW. What goes in, must come out.

Re: Potty training at nursery - WWYD?

Postby MamaKh » 01 Aug 2015, 04:34

Hi.
This is also our home now and he is 3. Bladder of steel absolutely. As we had a major issue with holding poo earlier this summer and i came across Elimination Communication/Natural Infant hygiene while reading up on my pregnancy some pieces fell into place while reading about that:

From newborn until when we start PT after about 18 mo, when we r told that they r ready we tach our babies and children to ignore any signal of needing to pee. Naturally the bladder contracts and gives signals regularly and babies usually signal this with some signs of discomfort, but as parents we are not aware and to cope with not being heard/understood the babies learn to ignore the signals from their body and to get used to soiling them selves. When we do start PT our older children will only recognize that they need to pee when the bladder is very full, and they have also learned how to hold, but not how to release voluntary, hence only a few drops of overspil will come out though painfully needing to wee as you described so well. With a nappy on they can relax and it comes more subconsciously and the whole bladder can be emptied. So really, they are doing their best in a difficult situation they can'tmanage yet.

Add to that our frustration (it is!) and a bit of reward (if you do this you will get that), threats (if you do/don't x then y) and shame (why do t you x like all the other big kids... etc) and mental blocks or simply just controling because they can is a fact. My son for instance clearly states that he doesnt want to wee as if being nappy free (wich he desires) equals not having to wee at all.

Understanding more of the background has made it easier for me to continue toddler /child led. If he really wants a nappy and i cant motivate him to use the potty for his own internal reasons he gets a nappy (poos mostly) and i stress after, nappy or potty, that only he can know and decide when he needs to go and (so thqt he will feel in control), i ask how his belly and wee wee/bum feels afterwards (usually good or ok) to try to reinfoce a positive feeling about doing a wee/poo. He will potty with me but only when he really needs to go, but only rarely w DH who has less patients and will resort to rewards (works sometimes if it includes kinder eggs or Minions when we have been on a good run), some threas/demands/shame (never worked so far). Still no luck at nursery.

Even if it takes time this seems to be the approach that has the steadiest way to success for us. We did lots of progress when we were on holidays (wee outside, in park and even in some restrooms of department stores) now im working and its regressed a bit w DH and nursery but weekends we r trying to get back on track.

Sorry long rant, just ment to support you baby led approach and as you saw it paied of the next day. Good luck and loads of patience being sent your way! :)
Mother of DS1 July 2012, DS2 Sept 2015
BF, Co Sleeping, Sling, EC, BLW, Active parenting, all inspirations and aspirations
MamaKh
 
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Re: Potty training at nursery - WWYD?

Postby Ali70 » 21 Aug 2015, 10:50

Thank you for all your wise words and support. As is often the case with toddlers, three weeks on and we're in a completely different position. She's cracked it!

She kept going to nursery in knickers and we let her choose at home. She chose nappies for about a week and then one day got up and asked for knickers. We've had no accidents since.

She's not as comfortable when we're out. She won't sit on a toilet when out, but if we take the potty she will use it (at first not very happily but now she's just about ok and its improving every time).

Thanks again for your support, I knew it would eventually happen but when you're in the middle of it its so frustrating!
Sproglet born April 2013
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Re: Potty training at nursery - WWYD?

Postby Kitcameron » 21 Aug 2015, 16:18

Yey, go Sproglet. Glad you've com ethough it ok
Mummy to Slinky Malinky (Sept. 12) and Chunker Munker (June 14.)
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Re: Potty training at nursery - WWYD?

Postby Lily » 21 Aug 2015, 16:45

Well done Sproglet!
Izbiz, May 2012
Bee, April 2015
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