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Re: AIBU?

PostPosted: 08 Jan 2015, 09:43
by mamapup
Could fil be super helpful and look after B one day? That way DH could be with you longer and fil is helping. Then his reward for helping would be to bring B in for her hour visit?

Re: AIBU?

PostPosted: 08 Jan 2015, 09:55
by emzit
I'm sure, but at least she could pop in with your DH throughout the day so he could see the newbie more. Fingers crossed for a nursery day - do you think they'll try to swing it if you ask?

Re: AIBU?

PostPosted: 08 Jan 2015, 11:39
by pirate_han
FIL hasn't ever looked after her alone (never offered), he has no toys or anything at his house, or transport, so I don't think she'd have the most exciting of days. Also I kind of want her to be the first to meet him (apart from me and DH obviously) so I'd like her to have that special first visit alone.

I really don't know if I can make any requests as to a preferred day - I hope so? It would be very helpful! :)

Re: AIBU?

PostPosted: 08 Jan 2015, 12:47
by Pics
YANBU .... but.... from your DHs view i can see it is not that straight forward. He may feel that his Dad is making the effort, is as directly related to the baby as your Mum and has as much as a 'right' to be there and see the baby as she does. he may also feel that his dad is making more of an effort this time so maybe it should be accepted as a better appraoch than last time and that his Dad may feel unfairly pushed away for making the effort. I am not saying this is right, but i think it can be hard for men when it all becomes about the women. Can you not compromise and say that he can come on day 2 but really only if he is happy to travel all that way for 30 minutes as you absolutely and definitely will not be able to have visitors for any longer than that? ANd you make sure that your DH manages it, and enforces it. He could maybe see you and the baby for half an hour and then go and have a coffee somewhere else with your DH while you and the baby rest - and then he goes before your DH comes back? Will your DH perhaps want the support?