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Re: BFP

PostPosted: 12 Jul 2014, 09:40
by qbm
One of my best friend's has a boy and is due shortly with no. 2. She is desperate for a girl. Desperate. She is the one and only person who has asked me if I'd try for a boy - I hadn't even expected this question (naïve, as it appears). She is a wonderful friend who I love to pieces. She is also very sensitive so I bit my tongue the last time I saw her (for her sake - I'd never want to hurt her feelings and it is easily done). We were out together at a park and when it was time to go her (lovely, impeccably behaved) son ran off and my daughter came merrily along to the exit. Her son wasn't tantruming or anything just expressing that he didn't want to go home. She looked at me and said despairingly, "Oh I bet you're glad you have two girls".

I can't even remember what I said but in my head I was shouting, "HAVING A VAGINA DOESN'T PRECLUDE THEM FROM BAD BEHAVIOUR!" Not that her son was even being badly behaved either.

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 12 Jul 2014, 10:59
by emzit
My preference was ever so slightly for two boys. I was utterly convinced that squish was a girl (although I referred to him as 'he' throughout my whole pregnancy regardless! Like robyn, I had a moment of sadness that I'll never have a girl and never be able to use the name I love but I think that is only because I was so sure he was a girl.

(((((M#4))))) There are lots of pregnant hormonal things going on, on top of everything else, so feel entitled to talk through your wobbles as much as you need.

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 29 Aug 2014, 16:45
by Fozza
Reverting to this username.

I did stop freaking out at some point. Now freaking out about maybe having a girl and everyone thinking it's the best thing ever like boys are rubbish. And people saying 'are you going to stop now?' Or 'Finally!' Or 'did you try for a girl?'
Your comments above apply in this situation too... people are idiots. But I have other things to worry about just don't need them in my life.

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 29 Aug 2014, 17:04
by robyn
I noticed the 'hoping for a girl?' type comments on fb.... Plonkers!
Congratulations again x

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 29 Aug 2014, 17:09
by issi
robyn wrote:I noticed the 'hoping for a girl?' type comments on fb.... Plonkers!
Congratulations again x

WSS! So weird. I'd have trouble stopping myself from saying something tbh. Can you think of a lighthearted yet firm way of saying it? I can't!

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 29 Aug 2014, 18:02
by FestiveTidings
robyn wrote:I noticed the 'hoping for a girl?' type comments on fb.... Plonkers!
Congratulations again x


Someone said that to me second time round - I replied "no, just a healthy baby".

Knobs. When did it stop just being enough to be happy for someone without asking all these really annoying and personal questions?

It was only 2 generations ago that big families were the norm. All my grandparents had 6+ siblings (my papa had 11!) and my nana was always a little sad that she didn't have more than 3.

I love the chaos and vibrancy having a big family can bring.

Congrats again Fozza. I think it's awesome and I love how you and your DH broke the news :)

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 29 Aug 2014, 23:30
by Fozza
Issi I'd love to be able to express it. it's not light hearted but all day I've wanted to reply:
'Thank you everyone, we don't care if it's girl or boy just that it's heart is healthy' I haven't because my DH made some of the comments (grr!) and people who make these comments are people who don't know we lost a baby or that much about us as a family.

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 30 Aug 2014, 05:35
by FestiveTidings
Oh Fozza

I think you should say something if you really want to. It just sets your position and will hopefully prevent other daft comments!

What you said above would be perfect IMHO. If you don't want to mention O or refer to what happened then I would just say a healthy baby.

But ((((()))))

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 30 Aug 2014, 10:41
by A_W
Fozza. Say it please.

My friend had a girl recently and everyone spelt her name wrong. She was still in hospital but her husband did a post on Fb telling everyone they'd spelt it wrong and to make sure to get it right from then onwards. I thought it was brilliant. Better said then than cope with it every time she was mentioned and been driven mad forever.

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 30 Aug 2014, 11:10
by Kitcameron
I had comments about how nice it would be if D was a boy when I first posted that I was pg on FB and I just replied 'or a girl :D' light hearted but got the point across.

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:07
by mindy
Big congratulations Fozza - how are you feeling? What a rough ride. This baby will be loved by parents and siblings whatever flavour it is, people are probably just spouting inane but well meaning nonsense, at a time when you are already completely overwhelmed and hormonal. Take care.

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:17
by Kanga
I can't believe some of the comments fozza ((())) I'd be tempted to reply 'aren't all babies pink?' Or something equally facetious but probably not all that helpful.

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:24
by Rosie_t_Riveter
Ha! Kanga. I wanted to put exactly that but as Fozza's hubby had put something up which indicated he wanted pink it seemed a bit rude.

(((Fozza))) you know this baby is wanted no matter what "colour" they are, and they will know it too.

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 30 Aug 2014, 20:37
by Fozza
Kanga wrote:I can't believe some of the comments fozza ((())) I'd be tempted to reply 'aren't all babies pink?' Or something equally facetious but probably not all that helpful.


Yeah good point. Pink would be best...O was quite blue...wouldn't want that! I'm storing these up for when I'm really hormonal.

Don't worry about being rude to my DH he is not on my good side.

Re: BFP

PostPosted: 30 Aug 2014, 21:27
by mamapup
Kanga wrote:I can't believe some of the comments fozza ((())) I'd be tempted to reply 'aren't all babies pink?' Or something equally facetious but probably not all that helpful.


I've been thinking exactly this all day, although passage to India style "more of.a.pinko-grey, really". Or writing something sarcastic about not being sure who the father was. Just before my c section for the puppy I turned to MrC in the theatre and said "fingers crossed he's white, eh? ". The surgical team had no idea.if I was serious or not.