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Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 19:03
by mamapup
Why is it so much harder this time around? With the puppy's name we had it within a few days of finding out his gender. We'd had a girl's name since long before even trying for kids. Now we're having a girl and we're just not sure.

I think we're deciding between two names, one really quite feminine and one more ungendered. The former is a beautiful Hebrew name but neither of us much loves the diminutive options. The latter is Sanskrit but is also a boys' name in Hebrew (diff spelling). We like the diminutive option better but I worry it could be a bit 'trendy'. We don't want a classic English name but neither do we want a trendy name. It doesn't really come up on popular lists but it might have that 'air' about it. Mr.C couldn't care less if the name is popular but having an uncommon name myself, I'm keen to go that route.

Arrrrgh, no real reason for this post except it's driving me nuts that we can't just settle on a name and be done with it.

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 19:12
by robyn
We've taken longer to decide a name each time. It was painful with Ida! We set a crazy 'theme' of each child having two middle names, one 'normal' and one sort of hippy, which was sooooo hard to keep up!!!
Glad we're done with naming children now!

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 19:27
by RJandA
Both times we didn't commit until after they were born. I just couldn't name a person before I had met them.

Both times the name we settled on was different from what it would have been if I had forced myself to choose before they were born. So maybe you don't have to push yourself? Just give it a bit of time and keep gently mulling them over to see what feels right over time?

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 19:55
by meerkatsmum
We have three weeks till edd and still no boys name! It's driving me crazy. Nothing seems "right". With M, we had a boys and girls name from at least 30 weeks. They were set, we didn't need to see her to decide it was right. This time we have a girls name but can't decide on a boys name! I really want to have the name but it doesn't look like we will have made up our minds. We'll have to go the short list option and decide when he's born. Now to find names to put on a short list! I can't even decide that!

One problem is that if we use the boys name from last time, we can't really use the girls name we've picked this time. So if number 3 was a girl, that name would be off limits. But we may never have another girl so it's hard to decide whether or not to use the original boys name!

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 20:21
by BLTMama

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 21:16
by mamapup
I know many people want to see /meet the baby first but Mr.C is adamant that's crazy.and I don't feel strongly enough to argue. At birth the puppy looked nothing like his name but now he looks.nothing like he did at birth and fits.his name.perfectly.

Robyn, we also have a rule for middle names : is someone we admire for their contribution to the world, second links to my family since we agreed on Mr.C 's surname.

MKM, are the names too similar to use both?

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 21:32
by FestiveTidings
When picking a name I always look at the following:

What the initials will be - do they spell a rude word, have a second meaning etc.
What nicknames can be derived from it
How it will sound when they are aged 5, 18, 30 and 70. Some really cute names going about just now but there will be a plethora of 70 year old Kayden's one day.

I personally avoid any gender neutral names. From someone who has a totally weird name, I'm always getting post assessed to MR instead of Mrs or Ms and it drives me bonkers. Silly but there we go.

We've decided on our names, but we also have a backup for when I change my mind after giving birth (like I did with Roo!). I do prefer to see them before I commit to a name but that's just me. I looked into Roos eyes and I could see who he was meant to be.

This time round or names have been suggested by circumstance - the same boys name kept cropping up one day and as it's unusual it really stood out. The girls name was suggested by Roo on the day I found out I was expecting. Luckily DH and I both like it.

Try visualising a little girl with each name. Picture yourself using the name - calling on her yourself or having it called out at school or the doctors etc. I found it a good way to see which ones I preferred over others.

Good luck MP!

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 21:35
by Rosie_t_Riveter
We chose TheBean's name at 40+7! We had a boy's name for TheWriggler from the first moment we discussed it (way before the actual prospect of kids!) and we had a girls name, but not a name for another boy. So we picked from a baby name book. But it suits him and I love it. So there you go.

Mum gave me two pieces of advice about naming children
- don't believe anyone who says "you will know when you meet them". It took 2 weeks for them to name me so I think that rules that one out (different to having a short list though)
- don't have the same initials. Trouble with post will arise.
We broke one of those rules, but I have a different surname, so the initial thing is maybe not so important :wink:

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 21:47
by DIMDongMerrily
We chose Dylan's name pretty much the day we found out he was a boy! I love the name Dylan and would probably have used it even if we'd been having a girl :wink: it seemed to suit him pretty well when he was born too, which was lucky! Isaac, OTOH, wasn't named until a week after he was born. He was Tiny Boy until then. We had a name we though we might use but when he was born it just didn't seem right so we started again, whittled it down to two and then picked Isaac! I felt very different during my pregnancy with Isaac, much more relaxed and mellow about the whole thing, so I think having a name ready for the moment he was born just didn't matter as much. We we're just waiting to meet him first.

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 22:07
by Brigitte
My husband and I are glad we had two girls, because both times we never did love any of they boy names we came up with. With both kids, we had a short list and then decided within the first 24 hours of the child being born. With our eldest, she actually ended up with two middle names that weren't anywhere on the short list! So hang in there, it will all sort itself out in the end.

I sometimes feel awkward about the fact that our eldest got two significant family names while our second got our favourite names from literature. (Then they also each have a nature name, because I'm a hippie that way.) It would have been nice for them to each have one family and one literary name, but when we had our first we didn't know if we'd have another girl so we had to use the family names on her right away. Ah well.

I also like slightly unusual names, as I have one myself. Our eldest has a traditional girl's name that is rare these days, while our second has a gender neutral nature name that is also rare but actually more common than her sister's name these days (and I'm pretty sure it's a bit more common for boys). The names are quite different in style, but that's okay. You're not locked in!

My second child's name had to pass the test of sounding okay together with her sister's name if I were to call both of them at the playground. There is one perfectly delightful girl's name that I ruled out simply because I couldn't imagine calling it out together with my other daughter's name!

And of course there's the rules about rude or bad nicknames or initials. My eldest has all sorts of traditional nickname options that are pleasant (we use one almost exclusively), and my second has no obvious nicknames or diminutives at all. Their initials are mostly consonants, and therefore only spell gibberish.

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 22:35
by junglewonderland
When I was born I didn't have a name for a month! And I turned out ok :)

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 23:10
by RJandA
Also wanted to add... Babies sort of become their name, whatever you call them. I mean, has anyone ever looked at their child age 3 and thought, hmmm that name doesn't suit at all, wish wed gone with the other choice? So maybe whatever you choose it will end up being "right" so long as no one feels pushed into it?

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 29 Dec 2013, 23:57
by StJuniper
We had two names but no way of narrowing them down; when R was born DH used name-picking as a distraction technique while they were stitching my tear. The conversation went something like:
DH: So, James?
Me: I like Robert.
DH: Ok, Robert.

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 30 Dec 2013, 00:29
by Gizmo
We had a girl name and a boy name picked nearly 2 years before they were even conceived! Luckily we got to use them both :D Their middle names were along the same lines, music related which is a massive part of our lives, so there was never any wavering for us. We just knew they were right and meant something to us.

We told people what their names were going to be before they were born. SIL had gone down the naming to honor family route and that wasn't something we wanted anyone to expect of us.

Their names are also a little unusual so we wanted the more traditional thinking members of DH's family to get used to them, it worked.

The surname wasn't an issue as we merged them anyway.

Re: Committing to a name

PostPosted: 30 Dec 2013, 07:38
by mamapup
We wanted to merge our surnames but the only merging that worked is rude!

And I know everyone is right about it not nattering if she isn't named until after birth but (little stamp of foot! ) I wanted it sorted in advance. I love both names. Will try everyone's hints.