((((ke)))) Enormous hugs and hope and strength to you and your DH. It's not the same at all, but when we were told that R could possibly be seriously brain damaged after his difficult birth, there was definitely a case of the consultants telling us (and rightly so, as it's important to be informed) EVERY possible outcome, including the stuff you don't want to hear, and the worst case scenarios. At that point in diagnosis, it's an enormously broad spectrum of outcomes for any "what if" situation. And in our case, they really had no way to predict exactly how it was going to turn out. There's no easy way to process it all, and everyone's different. I was (probably because of shock and some self-preservation kneejerk reaction) decided that everything was going to be absolutely fine (which, thankfully, it was). DH had a brief meltdown but then decided that whatever happened, there would be no question that we would adore him and that raising him would be an honour and a joy.
In the end, we've been told repeatedly that R really should NOT have a) survived and b) escaped without any sort of brain damage or health problems. Which is a bit of headfuck in itself. I don't know the specifics about the anomaly but as others have said, there's no single outcome destined for him - it could be unnoticeable, or it could shape his life in some way. That doesn't mean it will be a bad thing. Your lives will change inconceivably just by the simple fact of having another child, no matter who he turns out to be. You will love him and he will adore you, and it's going to be fine. x
Mama to the marvellous M (July '08) and R-bear (Oct '11)