Abnormal anomaly scan

[Aggie]

I had my anomaly scan today at 20 weeks and the nuchal fold measured as thicker than normal, increasing the risk of Down's Syndrome. My Nuchal Translucency scan and 13 week blood test came back as a low risk 1:100,000. They couldn't tell me what my 'new' risk was.

I've been offered an amnio but we have yet to make a decision as to what to do. DH has said that he can't cope with going through the rest of the pregnancy not knowing and is keen to have the amnio. He has also said that if the result showed that the baby has DS his gut feeling is that he would want to terminate the pregnancy.

Personally, my emotions are all over the place. I really don't know if I could handle taking care of a child and adult with DS. We also have our son to think about. The thought of his life being turned upside down and him missing out upsets me more than the thought of our own lives being turned upside down. Equally, I really don't know whether or not I could terminate a pregnancy, especially at such a late stage. I know I'd be devastated and would struggle to live with myself. If I wouldn't terminate the pregnancy it seems unfair to the baby to risk a miscarriage, although it may be good to prepare ourselves. If the amnio resulted in miscarrying a healthy baby I would be equally as devastated and, again, would have to live with myself.

Don't really know what I'm asking TBH but hearing some others experiences would be good. Feel free to pm me as I really feel that I need the support right now.

[KatGoldLIN]

first of all (((()))). I am sorry you are having to go through the upset of all of this, as the overwhelming liklihood is that everything will be normal.

I think you need to take oone step at a time. Make a decision about the amnio first. Wait for the results and THEN worry about a potential future with a disabled child.

[shye]

http://www.kellehampton.com/2010/01/nel ... story.html

You may enjoy reading this post. She's a photographer/blogger who unexpectedly had a little girl with DS. Obviously she didn't have to make any decisions as it was a surprise. But it is a really interesting post.

And I agree with KG. I know people who had increased risk and there was nothing wrong.

[PerpetualMadness]

((((((())))))) I hope it's nothing but I agree that you need to make your decisions one at a time.

[BLIN&M]

((())) it must have come as such a shock. 1 step at a time. Personally I know DH & I would both want as much info as possible.

I recall LJ had a scare with caterpillar back in Summer 2010 will try & find that thread. It may have useful links.

[Rosie_t_Riveter]

(((Ke002)))

Will they tell you what your "new" risk is, or do you have to make a decision based on the information you have now? I agree with KG to take it one step at a time.

I too hope it's nothing and am sending positive vibes your way.

[catkin]

{{{ke002}}} that must be very scary.
I can see it must be very hard to decide about amnio without knowing what the odds currently are. Will the doctors be able to give you more info before you decide? Or at least how far the measurement was above the normal level?
So sorry you have such a difficult decision to make, and really hoping for you whatever you decide about the amnio that it's a false alarm and everything ends up fine.

[Pics]

How much time do you have tomake a decision? That is an awful lot of pressure for you both. Have you had an opporunity to talk through any of this with a helpful midwife or consultant?

((((((((Ke002))))))))

[LemonJuice]

((())) it must have come as such a shock. 1 step at a time. Personally I know DH & I would both want as much info as possible.

I recall LJ had a scare with caterpillar back in Summer 2010 will try & find that thread. It may have useful links.

On my I phone but will also hunt for my thread. It was July 2010. I had taught DS children and knew I couldn't face being a lifelong cater. We had a cvs which is like an amniotic. My risk was 1:10 if I recall. It was a horrid week but we decided to deal with each step at a time and face the decisions as they came. Luckily the results came back neg and I have a gorgeous boy who is happy and healthy. You must do what is right for you and your family and don't be swayed because you think others might think badly of you. A close friend of mine had a still birth at 30 weeks with DS baby. She didn't know the baby had DS. I was so nervous of telling her what my results and our plans. She reassured me by saying that had she known Amy had DS she would have done things differently. I will find you my thread soon. Take care and big hugs. We are hear for you and do PM me if you want! X

[3KiwiChicks]

No advise sorry, but lots of ((((()))))

[Ducky]

I don't have any advice/experience, but wanted to offer ((((())))). Hope you and your DH can keep talking and make a joint decision xx

[RachelS]

Have you been referred to the feto-maternal unit? We got a next day appointment following our 1:5 risk, to discuss options. We didnt go down the amnio route but you new to do whatever is right for you and your family.
(((hugs)))
Remember we are all here if you need to sound off.

[Fozza]

((()))) Our nuchal fold on Z came back larger than normal and we were given a risk like 1:80 irrc. it was horrible at the time. We decided against the CVS because of the risk of miscarriage. i know the rate of false negatives is increasing with more tests. we decided to wait until the 20wk scan when they can see more of the developing baby and would possibly have done amnio at that point. Luckily we had a private scan booked a couple of weeks later with our old Obs and he reassured us that with no other markers we were right to make the decision and said that false negatives are common with boys. He is one healthy boy. I think taking one step at a time is very very good advice.

[Kate]

How stressful for you (((((((ke002)))))))

[skip]

Just more hugs. ((((ke))))