Disapproving friends and family

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Disapproving friends and family

Postby Poppylious » 18 Apr 2012, 14:41

Hi Everyone,
Poppy and i have just had our lunch over at a friends house. My friend has 2 older children, and another friend who was there has a six month old and has just started weaning (not BLW).
Poppy was on a easy (not very messy) picnic lunch of bread, cheese triangle, avocado, sweetcorn and tomatoes. I was making sure she wasnt making much mess. My friends little boy was on a jar of food.
Comments were -
"how can you be bothered with the mess", "jars are so much easier", "there is nothing up with my 2 and they were brought up on jars", "you're such a earth mother", " are you STILL breastfeeding",
i stand by BLW and defend it all the way, but sometimes i get fed up of having to justify what i do. Its a no brainer feeding your child healthy fresh food as oppose to a meal with a 6 month shelf life.
Not many people do BLW so i love love love this site so i can come on and feel like im not one my own.
ok rant over, i feel better now ha ha
Do you find you have to same issues?
ibby x
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Re: Disapproving friends and family

Postby blackberrycrimble » 18 Apr 2012, 14:49

People can be so rude, can't they? But it sounds like they are doing that thing which seems to be hard wired, which is seeing other people's choices as a criticism of their own. Smile, say 'it isn't all that messy and we enjoy it' and then change the subject.
My peas are gone as well as my marbles.
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Re: Disapproving friends and family

Postby madcatmummy » 18 Apr 2012, 15:45

See what they think about your weaning method when they're *still* spoon feeding their 3 year old because they can't be bothered to feed themselves (groan - i sometimes have to spoon feed my dd at 3, but not my ds at 7 months. Go figure!)

Just be happy in the knowledge that your lo is getting lots of yummy fresh food and will never have to make the transition from a jar of smooth stuff to a jar of lumpy stuff to 'real' food! Even though i tw my dd i made all my own purees, jars were for emergencies only. And oh boy do they taste bland!
mum to AD (03/09) and JT (08/11) and 2 mad cats!
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Re: Disapproving friends and family

Postby madcatmummy » 18 Apr 2012, 15:45

See what they think about your weaning method when they're *still* spoon feeding their 3 year old because they can't be bothered to feed themselves (groan - i sometimes have to spoon feed my dd at 3, but not my ds at 7 months. Go figure!)

Just be happy in the knowledge that your lo is getting lots of yummy fresh food and will never have to make the transition from a jar of smooth stuff to a jar of lumpy stuff to 'real' food! Even though i tw my dd i made all my own purees, jars were for emergencies only. And oh boy do they taste bland!
mum to AD (03/09) and JT (08/11) and 2 mad cats!
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Re: Disapproving friends and family

Postby Rosie_t_Riveter » 18 Apr 2012, 15:50

I agree people are rude. And some just don't get it. An NCT "friend" had a spoon refuser so tried BLW. Next time we met up she said "what do you do while they are taking ages to eat? I have already prepared tonight's dinner while he was eating breakfast!" I said I made a cup of coffee and sat down with a magazine. She looked at me like I was a loon!

If people aren't seeming receptive then I say "it works for us" and change the subject. If they seem interested the line "I'd rather clean a high chair than a blender" has worked in the past!
TheWriggler - Aug 2009
BabyBean - March 2012
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Re: Disapproving friends and family

Postby Aggie » 18 Apr 2012, 16:02

I try my best not to say anything. I find the best line of defence is not to defend myself at all. Why should I have to?
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Re: Disapproving friends and family

Postby Louisianablue2000 » 18 Apr 2012, 16:05

So rude to criticise you so openly! As far as the BFing comment goes I'd tell them that WHO advice is to BF until 2. More people need to know that and it usually shuts people up. Love RTR's blender comment but otherwise do the old 'pass the beandip' trick and find other friends. I have no problem with people wanting to do TW (even if I think they are mad for giving themselves so much work) but to recommend junk food over real food (solid or puree) is bloody insane.
See DD1's first few meals here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/louisianab ... 629434614/
See DD2's weaning video here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/louisianab ... 826217940/

DD1 Dec 07, DD2 June 09, DS Sept 12
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Re: Disapproving friends and family

Postby skip » 18 Apr 2012, 16:11

Yup, yup and yup to all the above (steeling myself for all the same crap 2nd time around). What gets me the most is the backhanded 'compliments' like: "Oh you're so BRAVE for doing BLW, I could never do it..." Actually, same could be said of homebirth choices. And yes, I am a stinking hippy, apparently, even though most of our parenting choices come from being lazy/skint/just following what comes naturally...

I was wondering today how on earth I would have done TW with R, as it's been bloody impossible to get him to take any calpol to try to get this temperature down. :scream Hence my main 'excuse' for BLW is that it takes the stress out of it all - you just let them get on with it. :)
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Re: Disapproving friends and family

Postby Allium » 18 Apr 2012, 16:20

skip wrote:Hence my main 'excuse' for BLW is that it takes the stress out of it all - you just let them get on with it. :)


And that was my main explanation/response: "I couldn't do TW as I couldn't handle the stress/pressure of having to guess how much the child needs of each different food!"

And anyone daring to say anything as daft as "you're such an earth mother/hippy" generally gets a loud snort and a "no, I'm bloody not" along with a discussion of what DH & my next fast car will be (admittedly it's been over a year since we had one...but that's only a temporary situation as we couldn't afford it at the time...we're car people, not hippy people!). That is one of my pet peeves, and it's such a passive aggressive sort of thing...it sounds sort of like they mean it in a nice way...but they really don't!
Mummy to Twink - 8/05/08, Squishy - 7/02/10 & Flopsy 1/11/12
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Re: Disapproving friends and family

Postby nmdmfb » 20 Apr 2012, 02:47

I just told my mother that I was doing BLW - I had been avoiding the issue thinking she'd scold me. She surprised me by stating that she knows a few people that have done it. She was quite encouraging. On the other hand, I was, and am still quite annoyed with her telling me how I will need to get baby girl on the bottle, and soon, giving me example of all these formula fed babies.

I'm still quite scared of telling people though, because I really don't feel like hearing comments that often come from people who I feel don't know any better (sorry if that sounds rude, but its how I feel sometimes). However, I push myself to not hide it - I mean, why should I - I like to see their reaction, and often get people interested because they have never heard about BLW.

I hear you regarding this site though - makes me feel empowered :D
Mommy to Little Squeaker (16/10/2011)
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